jordan says...

How to survive army, the Jordan way

2012-02-19T13:10:00.019+08:00

There's already a "BMT Survival Guide" note floating around on Facebook, and I must say it is quite comprehensive and very useful. Without it, I wouldn't have survived 10 weeks in hell. HOWEVER, it is not TOTALLY comprehensive, and this is where my brilliant blog comes in. Many poor souls will be dispatched to oblivion in the coming months, and I feel it is my duty as a PTP-BMT pro to fill the gaps in knowledge and understanding not addressed by the popular Facebook note.

1. Febreeze is your best friend.

I am in possession of five sets of No. 4 uniform, PT shirts and Admin shirts. However, I only use two sets of No. 4, one set of PT and two sets of Admin on average per week. HOW DO I DO IT? Well, for one I don't sweat much, so my shirts are hardly ever saturated with perspiration. Secondly, I am blessed with apocrine glands that don't secrete stinking cesspool discharge, so even if I do sweat, I don't smell that bad.

Unfortunately, for many people, this isn't the case. This is where Febreeze comes in. Spray it on your clothes. Oh and hang your clothes out on the clothesline as often as possible. Keeping them inside your cupboard all the time will just make your cupboard smell like the rhino enclosure in the Singapore Zoo.

But how exactly do I "ration" my clothes? Well, I have one set of Smart 4 and one set of Long 4. We don't use our PT shirts as often as before so Febreezing the one shirt is quite sufficient. I set aside one Admin shirt for when we're in vest-slack attire (I Febreeze this as well), and one for "proper" admin time and sleeping (this remains largely clean as a result).

Oh and Febreeze is also very useful for un-stinking your bed. You'll be changing your bedsheets and pillowcase every week, and the new ones often smell like rat breath. Simply drench them in Febreeze before leaving the bunk, and when you come back your bed will smell like an artificial flower garden.

2. Instant Kiwi is your second-best friend.

Simply jiggle the bottle and rub the sponge over your boots ("jiggle and rub": easy to remember because you probably do this to your girlfriend all the time). You'll be done in less than a minute. Far superior to digging around in your countless bags for the stupid brush and cloth, struggling to open the inconvenient tin, etc.

3. Bring food. Lots of it.

Instant noodles are useful for those early book-ins when you're forced to eat "dinner" at 4pm and begin to feel as empty as an Ethiopian kid by 9pm.

Bread is a godsend between physical activities. Eating one or two slices helps to stave off the tiredness and hunger pangs, but at the same time is not so heavy that you end up regurgitating the contents of your alimentary canal during the next activity. Bring "flavoured" bread like chocolate/raisin bread. Plain bread works well but sometimes when you're tired it feels like you're chewing on cardboard. You will also crave sweet stuff a lot so the chocolate and other shit will make a difference.

Biscuits and chips are good but make sure you bring enough to share, unless you want to look like a stingy selfish moron eating them all by yourself. Crumbs are also the bane of stand-by area/bed checks (see below). Lastly, biscuits and chips run out very quickly, so I don't suggest relying heavily on them.

Milk. Many people in my bunk love milk. I honestly think it's gross, especially when you've been keeping it at room temperature for a week, but they seem to think it's a good source of protein (I don't think protein supplements are necessary, considering the billions of chickens slaughtered for consumption every week in Tekong). Whatever floats your boat. They say it helps you relax at the end of the day, but it just gives me diarrhoea.

Other drinks are fine, but note that vending machines are widely available so they're not really necessary. Some people bring teabags and coffee mix, but Tekong water tastes awful and makes you sick so I don't recommend it. This brings me to my next point...

4. When should I report sick and see the Medical Officer?

This is largely up to personal preference. Some people feel a trip to the MO is in order the moment a single cough leaves their lungs, while others will brave the excruciating agony of a pulled muscle for more than a week before reluctantly dragging themselves over to the medical centre.

I do not suggest reporting sick for a cough or sore throat more than once, because this will just make your commanders and sergeants suspicious and give the impression that you are "mentally weak" and attempting to skip training. HOWEVER, sometimes these symptoms are signs of more serious conditions like respiratory infections and other crap which can get you the much-desired ATTEND C (i.e. book out and go home to rest).

I do suggest reporting sick for aches and pains (especially if they're in your joints or whatever) because forcing yourself to go for training while your body is riddled with pain is frankly very stupid and retarded.

Standard medicines issued by the MOs are largely restricted to paracetamol tablets, "stronger" painkillers, chlorpheniramine maleate tablets (OMG I actually remembered the name) and Fastum gel (a kind of muscle relaxant that has the consistency of coagulated pus). It all seems extremely generic and hence doesn't work in all cases. Especially the cough mixture. Taking it is just going to make your throat feel worse - trust me, it has happened to everyone I know. I mean, you can still go to the MO to get your medical leave, but you should just dump the medicines in a dark corner of your cupboard because everything except the chlorpheniramine is useless. My section self-medicates with 枇杷膏 and it seems to be quite effective.

5. What should I bring for recreational purposes?

This really depends on your company and how strict they are. I bring my iPod, non-camera Blackberry (with 5 spare batteries because I'm addicted like that) and a book to read. They come in useful when my bunkmates sit on the floor playing Monopoly Deal like uncivilized barbarians. If you decide to bring one of those ancient Nokia phones then good luck to you because Snake gets really boring after the first couple of days.

6. How many sets of underwear?

General formula is "number of days in camp multiplied by two". Change your underwear twice a day and you should be able to avoid nasty fungal infections. As a bonus, people won't treat you like a disgusting piece of shit.

7. How do I avoid getting punished?

Obviously, you should follow commands blindly. This will satisfy your power-hungry superiors. You should also try to remain low-profile and appear innocent and cute. This increases the likelihood that your superiors will treat you nicely, like how I am known as "Platoon 1 cutest boy" despite reporting sick four times* and failing 3 out of 5 IPPT stations. Making yourself appear pitiful may backfire, because they will think you are "weak" and need more push-ups as "training". If you are truly weak, you can try showing off another skill, such as my superhuman ability to stand on one leg and tuck my pants into my garters, while wearing my LBV (1kg+), full field pack (10kg) and rifle (4kg).

Alternatively, if you have a bubbly and addictive personality, people will like you as well and you won't get sabo-ed as often. Just don't be "wayang" (see below).

As for stand-by area/bed checks (cleanliness checks on your bunk, done by your sergeants or commanders), here is a list of areas you must clean. Sergeants have extremely sharp eyes and can spot a single speck of dust from the other end of the room:

Sweep the floor. You'll never know if the broom your section is assigned is frayed and old, so bring a MagiClean wiper mop. It's very useful because all the dirt sticks to it. A useful tip is to leave sweeping to the end, because wiping and dusting all the other surfaces often causes dirt to fall to the floor. You don't want to have to sweep the floor twice.

Wipe the windowpanes. You can use wet wipes, or spray MagiClean onto cloth/newspaper.

Wipe the windowsills. Sergeants love running their fingers across them and gleefully making you do push-ups at the sight of the tiniest speck of dirt.

Close the windows at night. The bunk and corridor lights often attract insects. Leaving the windows open means you'll often wake up to find the floor littered with dead or dying bugs (ranging from bees to moths to ni**er fairies), which are very very annoying to clean up.

Clean the fans. Do this at least once during your BMT. Fans get really filthy - filled with dust, dirt and dead insects - and this makes the whole cleaning process a lot harder (simply because dirt sometimes gets dislodged and ends up flying all over the room). Actually cleaning the fans is hard and disgusting work, but do it once and future checks will be less of a hassle.

Use the broom to dust the ceiling, especially corners - this is where cobwebs accumulate.

Wipe the tops of the cupboards.

If possible, clean behind the cupboards. Stricter/more irritating sergeants may decide to check there (it happened to us once and we got screwed because a giant lizard ran out).

Clear out everything from unused cupboards. You are not allowed to store items in them. My sergeants make an exception for spare newspapers and other cleaning materials, but yours may not be so merciful.

Throw away all rubbish and empty the "platoon dustbin".

Clean under the beds and in corners.

Clean the bed frames.

Standardize the position and arrangement of your bags and vests - inside or outside the cupboard? Vest in front of bag, or wrapped around the bag?

Fold your blankets and straighten the bedsheets.

Wipe the power sockets and switchboards.

Lock all your cupboards or prepare to be destroyed.

Sweep the corridors and clear the drains of dead insects and algae.

Wipe all noticeboards and mirrors in the corridor. Open the broom cupboards and dust them.

Toilets are easy. My sergeants love the condition of my platoon's toilet (it's probably the only thing they like about us), and this is how we do it: simply fill three pails with water, mix in some of that nasty yellow detergent and splash it across the floor. Then rinse the floor with as many pails of water as necessary (i.e. until all the soap bubbles disappear), scrub the sinks and urinals with Harpic and scrub the base of the cubicle walls with Cif to remove stains. Urinals are especially disgusting because some people have balding crotches and end up leaving gross hairs behind. Deal with it, or appoint a weekly "hair I/C" to do the dirty work (my platoon hasn't actually done it because it's so evil).

Just remember that Tekong is filthy and the dust always "respawns", often in ridiculous amounts. Set aside at least 30-45 minutes for every stand-by area check, or face certain doom.

8. Do not "wayang".

Wayang is a form of traditional Indonesian theatre. In a nutshell, to "wayang" is to "act" or "pretend", or to "exaggerate" one's enthusiasm and other shitty qualities to make yourself seem better or more interested than you really are. Nobody likes - or rather, everybody hates - people who are wayang. And it's very obvious to both your fellow ~~recruits~~ slaves and to your ~~commanders~~ slave-drivers. Army politics are not as brutal as JC politics (largely because people just want to sleep so there's less time for vicious gossip), but is still damaging nonetheless. Good luck getting into command school, or even making friends, if you think that the only way to make your presence and outstanding leadership skills known is to echo like a parrot on crack, scold your platoon mates for minor mistakes and act as if you know everything.

Most wayang people are also very ugly (sometimes to the point of inducing eye cancer) and have the EQ of a toilet bowl, which doesn't help anything. OH WELL TOO BAD GLHF.

That's all for now. Good luck and don't die.

*Despite my out-of-this-world acting skills, I must defend myself by saying that I was genuinely ill on those four occasions.

"He dyed his hair pus yellow."

2012-02-19T00:48:00.006+08:00

The latest... saga*... to hit VJ is quite retarded. Hi, as an ex-VJ student I would like to say that not everyone here is so dumb and stupidly bitter, and that most of us are capable of typing and SMSing in coherent and intelligible English. I don't know either person involved so I will avoid comment. Suffice to say that somebody is gonna have a hard time seeing the rest of the school population on Results Day... lol but seriously, now I have another reason to satisfy my urgent Pepper Lunch craving at White Sands the next time I book in/out.

*

Thursday night was the most hysterical night in NS so far. Laughed so hard and couldn't stop. First, Ming Hao and I were high, so I rolled up my pants and stuffed a helmet into my shirt to look like a pregnant lady. We then strutted down the corridor on a dare, and just at that moment, one of the sergeants decided to pay our platoon a surprise visit. Needless to say, his jaw hit the floor and I nearly died of embarrassment.

Barely a minute later, he turned around and happened to see Justin - stark naked - drying his crotch in the corridor. This time, EVERYBODY burst out laughing. Poor sergeant. Mindblown for life.

I am also disappointed to announce that REC Zhang Ziruo, pride and glory of the Public Service, has dishonoured his noble profession by lovingly spreading delicious, black Oreo crumbs all over the immaculately-prepared bedsheets of the hyper-hygienic REC Brian Huang. REC Ruben Peramagantan is no better - in his rage after missing SRJC's Lit Night performance, he jumped, bounced and rolled around on REC Huang's bed, making sure to rub his soiled, greasy scalp all over the pillow before pulling out the bedsheets. REC Quek Ming Hao is hardly better, preferring to study Advanced Calculus instead of assisting REC Huang in his hour of need. Me? I just blog and criticize other people while perched on my high pedestal.

*Makes it sound more epic than it really is.

2012-02-18T13:32:00.003+08:00

Bloody hell just read Yibin's blog and found out that Dr Colin Crowder (from Durham University) CAME TO VJ TO GIVE A KI LECTURE ON THEOLOGY AND EPISTEMOLOGY OH GOD. I corresponded with him through email last year regarding Durham's Combined Honours in Arts programme (he's in charge of it) and he's a very nice person. AND HE SAID, BACK THEN IN SEPTEMBER, THAT HE WAS HOPING TO COME TO SINGAPORE AND VJC IN FEBRUARY 2012.

BITCH THIS HAPPENS EVERY WEEK. I HAVE MISSED WICKED, SEVERAL CONCERTS, AN OXFORD PHONECALL, INTERNSHIP AND RELIEF TEACHING OPPORTUNITIES, AND HAVE HAD MY SPH SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATION POSTPONED TILL END-2013.

We may have one of the world's most efficient and effective armies, but it has a terribly large number of dissatisfied and miserable soldiers.

I do try to keep up with things, but after endless days of ridiculous, unwarranted "punishments", burning sun and chicken-based dishes, there is just not enough time - and no mood - to engage in anything properly mentally-stimulating for more than twenty minutes or so before you shove your book and Blackberry back into your drawer and collapse on top of your bed.

Adorbz photoz

2012-02-12T12:49:00.008+08:00

My blog hasn't had pictures in a while, so before I book in I feel it is my duty to cheer your eyes with a radiant* photograph of me. I have cropped Ganicologist out of it to increase its aesthetic value:

[Sharon Wong would say this is "adorbz".]

The other two-thirds of the NEG is coming over later today to paint. We camwhored in my room yesterday using Photobooth in Noma's Macbook. Am waiting for her to upload the pics so I can steal them and plaster them all over my picture-deprived blog. My browned, roasted forehead is so shiny I could do an advertisement for furniture varnish.

More photos will come once I get started on the prom post. I don't have time now because my weekends are spent earning Neopoints and writing nasty scholarship essays. I'll get down to it once the scholarship applications are cleared from my to-do list.

In any case, I've managed to strike at least one item off the list: uploading the HD version of my 凤点头 performance to YouTube! Now you can enjoy my nightmarishly screwed-up concerto in 1080p! Simply click -here- to rain fiery brimstone upon your eardrums.

This is the first time (to my knowledge) VS has done something like this. And it actually looks pretty promising. Keeping 17 March free!

*i.e. heavily Photoshopped. I was as pale as cottage cheese last year!

2012-02-11T11:58:00.007+08:00

Yesterday's RT session was not as tiring as the previous one, but was still equally retarded. RT itself finished by 4pm but they insisted we stay one more day to - in the words of one of the sergeants - "feel the pain". IT'S NOT EVEN OUR FAULT LAH PLEASE, WHY ARE WE BEING PUNISHED. -.-

Anyway I failed my SBJ by 10cm (as usual) so I was like whatever and couldn't really be bothered to do my best for the other stuff. Although I am pretty proud to say that my 2.4km timing has improved to 11:26. Even better considering how SOC raped my ankles and slowed me down.

I am also proud of the scholarship essay I finished during a boring lecture. We were supposed to be paying attention but honestly speaking nobody was. So instead of sleeping or typing dirty jokes on OpenOffice like everyone else was, I quietly and surreptitiously wrote out a scholarship essay on my crappy, block-like SAF-issued laptop.

BTW I don't know what got into me when I filled in a form expressing my interest in a military career OMGWTFBBQ. I am clearly not interested at all. =.= I just want to get into a vocation that's vaguely interesting after my BMT, something like Military Intelligence. And only because the idiots refuse to let us become Medics or Musicians and are highly intent on turning us into intellectually-degenerated Riflemen. -.- How crude.

OH YES AND ALL THE JC STUDENTS ARE NOW STARTING TO WORRY ABOUT 'A'-LEVEL RESULTS. What makes it worse is the tentative day we'll get our results (2 March) is allegedly ONE DAY BEFORE OUR FIELD CAMP. Which means we will be utterly obliterated over the following week if our results suck.

Reminder to self: MUST GO FOR VSCO CONCERT. Saturday, 17 March 2012 @ VJC PT. The repertoire looks good, with pieces like 《酒歌》, 《双手开出幸福泉》, 《牧民新歌》 and 《打枣》. And Weida is playing SSKCXFQ! MUST SUPPORT VSCO YQ SECTION. -.-

A few of you will know by now that the NEG is back to playing Neopets! I'm extremely poor now and need to save up for more pointless pixel items. Any tips? Games are extremely slow and so is the Stock Market. Restocking is out of the question considering how inexperienced I am and how little free time I have. -.-

MORE DEPRESSION:

I MISSED VJ SEA SPORTS CARNIVAL AND SUNTEC MASS DANCE BECAUSE OF RT.

THANKS EVERYONE FOR ALL THE OBLIGATORY BIRTHDAY WISHES. And Yibin, for the cool portrait! ^^

Nineteen

2012-02-10T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to me
Got to go for RT
Have to stay back on Tekong
Happy birthday to me

Paying the price

2012-02-07T19:25:00.010+08:00

[Boring rant. Scroll down for interesting bitchiness.]

Mr Salim Osman's article in The Straits Times on atheism in Indonesia was quite an interesting read, but I disagree with its final paragraph. I'm lazy to type it out here but In my opinion, what it implied was "Atheists should think twice before challenging the beliefs of other religions, especially when the views espoused denigrate those religions".

Okay. But in light of what was propounded in the rest of the article about the apparent repression of the atheist community by a stifling, religion-based constitution, concluding the commentary with such a "safe", overly-careful and politically-correct answer, which to me also gives off undertones of superiority and self-righteousness over atheism seems weak and unconvincing. If atheists are to be "wary" of airing their possibly-offensive views about religion, then religious communities should also be disallowed or discouraged from attacking atheism both directly/actively (through the arrest of people for "blasphemy") and indirectly/passively (through the presence of a so-called "monotheistic" state ideology*, and by inducing fear in atheists through the presence of such an ideology, violation of which could warrant their punishment). Why the double-standard? And why the apparent passive acceptance of it?

Ultimately, atheism is a belief system. Religions are also belief systems. My ideal society is one which can flourish as a whole with minimum disturbance to and restriction of individuals' choice of beliefs. And laws are guidelines by which such a state can come into being (or be maintained). Hence, to me, the fact that one can be arrested for "blasphemy" when airing anti-religious views seems to imply that religious/theistic belief systems are superior to non-religious/atheistic belief systems with regard to the benefits such belief systems can bring to the state. As most of my readers should know, I am an extremely offensive person with dangerously radical, almost criminal views. Consequently, it will not come as a surprise that I am not one to accept or promote blind obedience and submission to dogma and tradition. I demand that this implicit claim - that particular belief systems are superior to others with regard to potential or actualised benefits they can bring or have brought to the state - be justified. Simply acknowledging it before callously and conveniently sweeping it under the carpet - on the pretext of social propriety and the virtue of remaining conservative, "mild and mute" (*cough* moment of indulgence there...) - is to do society a disservice and deny our boring citizens an opportunity to engage in exciting and illuminating intellectual debate, and the resultant social progress.

Of course, if they have already been justified, then please direct me to a nice, accurately-worded article, or explain your views in a civil manner without all the death threats and calls for karmic retribution I usually get after posts like these, kthxbai.

*Viz. one where the individual is allegedly required to profess faith in one of several "official", "recognized" "state religions" - I will ignore the secondary issues this throws up for now. Attempting to address them would firstly be casting my net too wide; secondly, I am typing this in camp on my Blackberry so I honestly do not have the time, patience, stamina or battery life to type out a protracted philosophical diatribe.

Disclaimer: Unless you are immensely stupid and retarded, you should know that I am not in any way trying to badmouth the political system of Indonesia (of which I know virtually nothing about), or spewing vitriol at Mr Osman's views and article. I am merely using his article and its context of the Indonesian constitution to illustrate my oh-so-dissentious views on the far more general issues of relativism and objectivism in constructing and comparing belief systems (moral, religious, scientific, whatever). Thank you for not accusing me of fiery sedition. Oh and I apologize for my ~~sometimes~~ frequently excessive use of parentheses. If only Blogger had a convenient button you could click to insert footnotes and endnotes.

[End of boring rant.]

*

I am officially the worst person in my platoon for the SOC (Standard Obstacle Course). I can't even get past the very first obstacle - the "low wall", which really isn't very low at all. -.- the SOC itself is like a giant, more dangerous version of a kids' playground. Sounds easy and actually looks fun from a distance, but then again I was the kid who, in kindergarten, thought playgrounds and sandpits were "dirty" and "ant-infested" (which they are), and preferred to sit on the classroom steps reading picture books on diseases and the human body while my childish, immature classmates rolled around getting sand in their underwear. I'd sit on the swing but that was the furthest I'd go.

And now I am paying the price for my prudishness.

*

End of post. I am now off to fill my water bottle with untreated sewage, stain the floor black with shoe polish and sleep on my stinking bed. Au revoir.

2012-02-05T13:24:00.003+08:00

"5 more days to ~~book-out day~~ my birthday and we are so happy-ah."

PRESENTS NOW KTHXBAI.

Off to continue my NHB essays after spending the whole of yesterday on Neopets. -.-

2012-02-04T16:01:00.002+08:00

With the end of VJ Redondo comes the beginning of a new school year, which means I AM DAMN OLD. LIKE, THERE'S NOW GONNA BE 12A15. AND I THOUGHT 10A15 SOUNDED YOUTHFUL AND VIRILE. Wonder if their class is gonna have an NEG. And continue the tradition of having a hot sexy angmoh guy. ;)

VJ REDONDO

2012-02-03T12:05:00.010+08:00

In about an hour's time, me, Ming Hao and Samuel will be nomming on much-missed ThaiPan food before crashing the event of the century: VJ REDONDO. (NEG inside joke. Not laughing hysterically at the term "VJ Redondo" makes you an inferior being.)

Updates when I get back.

[UPDATE AT 6.19PM. NO PICTURES BECAUSE I HAVE NO CAMERA AND SWITCHING BETWEEN MY PINK PHONE AND BLACKBERRY IS HIGHLY INCONVENIENT.]

Ok so we didn't really crash VJ Redondo, largely because we didn't know anyone and our bald heads would've been very prominent and embarrassing. But we did walk around the school and REMINISCE. *shudders at the cheesiness* Jack Cheah (the cafe uncle) recognizes me OMG. I was buying orange juice from him when the uniform vendors asked who I was, and he replied, "Ex-student!"

SO TOUCHED. :'D

The CO room has been renovated again, and now has a new layer of fake parquet flooring. Surprisingly, it isn't sticky or dusty, which is a tremendous improvement from before. I bet it won't last more than two months, though. Jayne and Clarissa couldn't recognize me when I walked in, and Alvin Poh said I look like an oversized kid. -_-

Moment of guilt: I opened the librarian cupboard and saw that Sulwyn had completely cleared it out and tidied it up. Not a single loose sheet of paper in sight. I never thought it was possible to accomplish such a Herculean feat of saikang.

Saw Bernice too! She's relief-teaching Maths (WHY) and had to scrutinize me really closely before recognizing me. Then she recoiled in shock before dashing over to say hi. -.- OH BERNICE. I BET YOU JUST COULDN'T HELP STARING AT MY HANDSOME FACE.

Said hi to Ms Wu and Ms Tee as well. Was never taught by the latter, but I suppose she knows me as one of the three A15 students who were radical enough to not take Econs. -.-

Ms Wu: "You look so different! You're so dark, and... YOU HAVE NO HAIR!!! Anyway I'll be talking to you soon."

Me: "For what?"

Ms Wu: "Don't tell you~ *saunters off*"

WHAT IS IT, MS WU. DID MY IS WIN SOME PRIZE? HAVE I BEEN AWARDED AN HONORARY PhD?! (Click -here-.)

Walked around the Horticulture area (AKA the Eastern Cape) and saw the fierce Petrus cat, but Pig was nowhere to be found. Maybe her time has come, and she has accepted the change in her circumstances, relinquishing her power to the blacks. Perhaps she now lives under the shadow of the fire hosereel, under the wing of evil, yowling Petrus.

Samuel ~~spent~~ wasted his afternoon playing chess with his SGC juniors, so Ming Hao and I went into T16 and ~~made out~~ studied KI. He was reading my notes on mathematical knowledge and got stuck at formalism. Don't worry, Ming Hao. My brain has degenerated so much I don't understand Kantian deontology anymore. Oh and I realized how much my handwriting has deteriorated too. Writing in my tiny blue SAF notebook is a tiresome, untidy struggle, so when I saw my beautiful notes, printed carefully in semi-cursive script and aligned with neat, systematic indentations, I felt so disgusted with myself and what I have become. -.-

WELL AT LEAST WE ATE THAIPAN FOR LUNCH. Finally, after an agonizing six months, nepenthe. Butter squid, hotplate tofu and sambal kangkong.

Unfortunately, all was ruined when we saw Angus sashay through the door.

BASS YANGQIN + LI LINGLING = -COOLNESS- (click!). It's a total rip-off of the cimbalom, but at least the concept works.

-This- (click again!) looks interesting too. The kuaiban (4:40 to 6:30) is very catchy, but it needs a lot of right-hand stamina.

A cynical post about CO, for once.

2012-02-02T12:52:00.012+08:00

1337th post!

A very good afternoon to all my minions. I am aware that many of you are eagerly awaiting my return from the Underworld. Unfortunately, I must tell you that our ferry timing has been pointlessly, irrationally and stupidly changed to 6.45pm, from the earlier time of 3pm. Even Charon is pissed. This is disgusting but I am a helpless pawn in this institution so it cannot be helped. In any case, I am here to rant briefly about the upcoming "National Chinese Orchestra Marathon", which is to be held in our blighted land of Singapore. I would like to quash the cliched, politically-correct claims that have been put forward as justification for the organization and execution of this poor idea.

This frankly stupid event is not going to promote Chinese orchestral music, at least to the great extent its organizers hope it will. Holding an excessively large number of excessively shallow performances at a bizarre combination of venues does not translate to fostering greater audience appreciation. Neither does short-term/immediate exposure to several performances translate to long-term interest and appreciation. This is obviously going to offend people but I don't care about the feelings of extremely amateur musicians who choose to perform repulsive arrangements of pop songs like My Heart Will Go On. The 12 Girls Band did manage to pull off a heartrending rendition of that song (it's on YouTube), but no Singaporean ensemble will do the same because of the lack of creative initiative here. Musicians here just want to sit down, stare at their cheap jianpu scores printed on poor-quality paper, and play the notes with either the emotion of a rock or the taifeng of an epileptic having a convulsive fit in an earthquake. And sometimes both. The whole experience becomes both aurally and visually offensive. This is surely not the way to promote the genre.

Of course, performances by high-calibre ensembles including but not restricted to the SCO are definitely good ways of introducing Chinese orchestral music to the masses. But there's no need for a marathon. The SCO already holds several "outreach concerts" a year, many catered to niche groups like young children, with others centred around particular themes, such as the ubiquitous festivities of Chinese New Year to deep cultural themes like Chinese calligraphy and mythology. Is there really a need to further "promote" the genre through a "marathon"? If the public has not taken well to existing initiatives, I don't see how this one will be any different, since they are essentially rehashing what has already been done countless times before. I mean, c'mon, the SCO even collaborated with Dave Brubeck, performing Take Five with a guanzi and jazz ensemble WTF. If a professional orchestra has performed such a wide range of music, from old-fashioned pentatonic crap to jazz and avant-garde modern compositions, and the public still doesn't appreciate the Chinese orchestral genre, I think bombarding them with a fusillade of new yet unfortunately similar performances - many by inferior/lesser-known ensembles or in acoustically/aesthetically repulsive locations - is bound to fail as well.

And enough school orchestras have performed pop arrangements as it is. None have been particularly impressive. Perhaps it's because of the distinct tones and timbres produced by the instruments. Lacking in bass and sometimes thin and tinny. Certainly not sounds capable of producing and sustaining a modern pop melody, especially when such melodies are often written in oversimplified arrangements lacking musical layers and depth, or with poor instrumentation/orchestration. Compare these arrangements to "actual" Chinese orchestral pieces which possess pop/jazz elements (think 《第二民族交响乐》, stuff like that), and you will be able to see the difference.

To me, the event just seems like an egoistic attempt at granting "exposure" to new and existing Chinese orchestral groups and players. It could temporarily boost the genre's visibility, but I doubt the "marathon" will have any significant and/or long-lasting positive impact on the reception of the genre in Singapore. I specify "positive" because exposure to poor ensembles and their performances could [counterproductively] give rise to - or should I say "perpetuate" - the perception/stereotype of Chinese orchestral music as unpleasant, old and hermetic.

If there are serious argumentative gaps or logical problems in this entry, I blame it on the fact that I cannot book out at a humane timing, and have been reduced to typing this on my Blackberry as fast as possible in order to avoid hand cramps, carpal tunnel syndrome and the myriad of other possible pains repeatedly pressing tiny keypad buttons for a prolonged period of time could give me. I will attempt to refine and expand this post at home. Meanwhile, let me find something productive to do, such as eating instant noodles, buying canned drinks or sleeping.

Let the bashing begin. *rolls eyes*

"They look too galactic."

2012-01-29T17:42:00.006+08:00

Military life pet peeves:

After exercise. You are sweaty. You try to push past me but are too fat. Because of that, you touch my arm with your slippery, glistening skin. YUCKS. Actually, just don't touch me at all. I hate the feeling of someone's bare skin on mine. This makes me sound like a rape victim, but really.

"4TH COY, HEADS OUT!!!" I AM TRYING TO ENJOY MY FREE TIME. DON'T MAKE ME GET OFF MY BED.

Sudden, unexpected changes to the timetable. ESPECIALLY BOOK-OUT TIMINGS (unless they push it forward, of course LOL). Well honestly this doesn't really destroy my plans since the timetables are always given the night before (therefore preventing me from making any plans at all).

Idiots. Seriously, the army is full of them, and I'm not even talking about 2nd and 6th Coys. -.- If you bought your brain at the thrift store, please don't open your mouth because you prove your idiocy and drive everyone crazy in the process. Screaming your words out doesn't make them any more intelligent, either.

Water parades. Oh, I'm fine with gulping down 500ml of water several times a day and drowning my insides with an excess of liquid which tastes like stale sewage, but not when it's immediately followed by retarded exercises like jumping jacks and push-ups.

There are more but I can't remember. Will update. Am now trying to force out my National Heritage Board scholarship essay before I book in in two hours. Feeling very intellectually-constipated.

Quote of the day:

*the NEG is painting pictures in my house*

Noma (hopeful): "What do these look like?"

Yelsel: "Battleships."

Me: "Transformers."

Noma: "I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE PAINTED IRIS FLOWERS. THEY LOOK TOO GALACTIC."

Degeneration

2012-01-28T13:44:00.004+08:00

Hooray I am back, finally. We had "remedial training (RT)" this morning, which is quite retarded because about three-quarters of the company had to stay back for it. I believe "remedial" stems from the word "remedy", which indicates the presence of an anomaly, or something which needs to be cured or fixed. RT should therefore not be forced on people who have taken part in all training activities and who have done their best and committed themselves fully to such activities. I don't think there is anything "wrong" per se with someone (or in this case, over a hundred people) not having reached a prescribed and rigidly fixed level of physical fitness within a prescribed, rigidly fixed timeframe - their bodies either take a longer time to adapt and develop, and/or they started out at a much lower level of physical fitness and hence need a longer time to develop.

All that aside, RT was much harder than normal training, which is quite dumb because then they should've just done the RT exercises for normal training. We would've improved so much faster and maybe we wouldn't even have needed/won't even need to go for RT. =.= And we had to wait one whole night just for RT to start. They could've just done it yesterday afternoon and everybody could've booked out happily in the evening. Instead of giving us a canteen break (during which I behaved like a PES BP hippopotamus, stuffing myself with four fried, sugared donuts, four chicken nuggets and a can of Coke), fried food for dinner (fishballs, fried chicken wings and more chicken nuggets) and free time until lights-out, essentially filling us with trans fat and cholesterol before encouraging us to laze around and sleep. Which, y'know, improves physical fitness tremendously.

Day-to-day life has become very mundane and predictable. All the activities are very repetitive and sian. Even during our free time, my section people sit around playing Monopoly Deal in the middle of the room (a couple of them wearing nothing but their underwear, sometimes nothing at all), while Ying Shao sits in the "dark corner for dim people" and I lie on my smelly bed surfing the net for interesting articles, reading my book, listening to CO music on my iPod and panicking over my still-nonexistent PSC essay.

I AM RE-ENTERING TARTARUS TOMORROW NIGHT. PRAY TO FOR ME.

Oh, and some people I know are descending into the depths of the underworld for the very first time next week! Have fun, bitches. For all you know I'll see you down in Rocky Hill, taking up space in 4th Company's huge-ass parade square and creating chaos in the cookhouse. I've already seen Adeeb and Hao Ming walking around Tekong, so I suppose the chances of me obliterating my eyeballs with the sight of freshly-shaven Emersius/Ling Kang/Bryan Heng/whoever aren't as low as I originally thought.

I typed this whole entry out very slowly, paying careful attention to word choice and phrasing. This means my English is deteriorating because I usually write these "energetic" entries very quickly. I'm finding it hard to construct complexly-structured sentences now, which is obviously bad. I am also losing my dexterity with the computer mouse. Oh no. The mental degeneration is tangible. Anyway I finally finished reading Rousseau's The Social Contract (after like, half a year) in camp, so I brought in Kafka's Metamorphosis (the ancient, yellowed copy I took from VJ's "library clearance" two years ago) to try and preserve whatever is left of my brain. The prose itself is very interesting. So precise, vivid and intricately detailed. It is like a 720p YouTube video in written form.

SOME MORE NEGATIVITY:

I MISSED THE MOSQUITO GANG REUNION YESTERDAY. WALAO.

Games

2012-01-23T23:36:00.007+08:00

So the cousin came over for CNY today* and we ended up playing Fable: The Lost Chapters. OMG haven't played that in ages. We checked our last save files and they were dated November 2009. -.- BUT AMAZINGLY, WE COULD STILL REMEMBER THE WHOLE STORYLINE, KNEW WHERE ALL THE EASTER EGGS WERE AND EVEN WHAT INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS WERE GOING TO SAY IN THE GAME. Right down to extremely minor details like what items could be found in which fishing spots. If only schoolwork embedded itself into my long-term memory as easily as minute in-game details.

Unfortunately she did most of the playing today and decided to make the character a primarily melee hero, which is BORING. I NEED MY LEVEL 4 ENFLAME, FIREBALL, DIVINE FURY AND SLOW TIME. I CAN KILL EVERYTHING IN 2 SECONDS WITH THAT SPELL COMBINATION. AND MAKE IT LOOK GOOD AT THE SAME TIME (instead of wildly swinging a greataxe around hoping to behead a few bandits).

Anyway I love Fable. Need to get Fable III! It was released for PC last May OMG I've been missing out on so much and I didn't even know! =.= While I was busy transcribing scores and tuning yangqins, people were PLAYING A BRAND-NEW FABLE INSTALLMENT ARGH. =.= I believe it's set in a [pseudo-]steampunk world (which I generally dislike, being the sword-and-sorcery fanatic that I am), but I'll forgive Molyneux and Co. for once because I love the game's rich universe and plotlines.

Sidetrack: Managed a near-perfect run of 欢乐的火把节 today. *pride*

I STILL NEED TO UNWRAP THE SIMS 3. AND GET SPORE (which I've been intending to get since god-knows-when; the price has probably plummeted and the graphics engine and such are probably antiquarian by now). First it was Os, then As, then NS which ruined all my gaming plans. -.-

Oh, and if only -this- game (click!) was real. =.=

*"新年快乐! YEAR OF THE DRAGON, 我喜欢!!!"

THE LONG-AWAITED THAIPAN LUNCH. FOILED.

2012-01-21T10:24:00.003+08:00

Back for Chinese New Year, with some new tales to tell. But before that, I am proud to announce that the NEG is going to ThaiPan for lunch today! BUTTER SQUID, I HAVE MISSED YOU SO.

Anyway, I am still sick. The medical officers gave me five packets of pills, two bottles of cough syrup, a chest X-ray and an injection in my butt (ouch), but I am still sick.

Going off soon. More updates when I get back.

[UPDATE AT 2.56PM]

OMG BITCH THAIPAN IS CLOSED TILL THURSDAY FOR CHINESE NEW YEAR THOSE LAZY WHORES.

We had to activate Plan B, i.e. Parkway. =.= Ajisen Ramen isn't that bad, I suppose. At least I got some respite from the sickening chicken-based menu at Rocky Hill. Then we bought Scoopz and I came back home to buy Starbucks muhahahaha. LIFE IS BACK. @_@ For now.

Found a yangqin version of Burgmuller's L'Hirondelle (The Swallow) online. Will practise it as my little "weekend project" and to get my YQ skills back into shape. I've been watching my concert recording of 凤点头 (so embarrassing) and realized one of my other key errors: not using enough wrist strength. No wonder my teacher in primary school always screamed "不够大声!!!" =.=

[UPDATE AT 7.20PM]

Well it turns out the L'Hirondelle arrangement is far too easy, so I spent a cathartic 3 hours revisiting classic pieces like 《土家摆手舞曲》, 《黄河随想曲》, 《春到清江》, 《土耳其进行曲》, 《凤点头》, 《海峡音诗》, 《阳光照耀着塔什库尔干》 and 《野蜂飞舞》. I think practising L'Hirondelle and FotB enough will serve as good preparation for insane shit like 《海燕》 and 《觅》 - that is, if I ever get around to finishing TJBSWQ and Huang He.

2012-01-15T12:28:00.010+08:00

Woke up feeling terrible today, with aches and pains all over and a fever. This is the second time I've fallen sick over a weekend this year, and unfortunately that means I'm staying at home instead of going to Art Stage with the NEG, as planned. And I still have to book in later, WTH. Unless my flu miraculously intensifies and fries my brain to the point where I need emergency treatment in hospital. Such is the extent of SAF's compassion.

And if it subsides by tomorrow morning I'm going to scream because it means I missed Art Stage AND have to go for training. =\

On a more positive note, I gingerly lifted the cover off my yangqin and was pleased to find out it was still largely in tune and hadn't yet rusted solid. I still need to send it for restringing and maintenance, though, because I can't tune it properly - the strings have gotten so old that one slight twist of the tuning pegs snaps the loops at the tuning pins, sending tangled masses of steel wire flying into my handsome face. I hope restringing my smexii rosewood yangqin doesn't cost as much as repairing the VJ yangqins, what with the $700 fiasco last year which smashed our budget to pieces and nearly got me slaughtered by a raging Mdm Chin two weeks before SYF.

And all of it came to nought because the juniors didn't bother maintaining them after handover. I remember taking a break from revision* one day in October and going up to the Music Room (to pass a cup of guava juice to Ah Chew, no less), and saw the horrendous state of my yangqin, which was precisely one whole tone flat.

Ah Chew: "Sounds ok what."

Grr.

This is why it was a bad idea to locate the Music Room at the top of the PT. Despite the ugly tinting of the windows to shield the room from excess sunlight, you still get massive temperature and humidity changes due to diurnal variations in the angle of incidence of insolation (inner Geog student at work, sorry. You're lucky I'm restraining myself from talking about urban heat islands, maritime influence and convectional rainfall) which screw all the instruments. Especially yangqins which are kept right next to the window.

Have finally gotten around to reading an issue of Asian Geographic that's been sitting on my desk for months. There's a very sensationalized apocalyptic prediction based on plate tectonics and the future of the world in the light of current tectonic activity. Unfortunately all credibility has been lost because of the use of superlatives like "California will shatter" and "Vietnam will crumble". And the writer attempted to bring in the mumbo-jumbo about "Planet X" and how its approach could affect magnetic fields, blahblahblah. Seriously?!

There's also some article that suggests the Chocolate Hills in the Philippines are manmade "pyramids" like those in Egypt and Mesoamerica. Whutttt...?! Isn't it just a cockpit karst?! Conspiracy theory alert!

The term "cockpit karst" refers to a landscape characterized by conical hills separated by dry, star-shaped depressions, often with talus and other debris scattered at their bases. Cockpit karst forms when an active stream network dissects a homogeneous limestone area - in such regions, the identical chemical composition of the rock causes spatial variation in weathering rates to be presumably negligible. However, chemical weathering in the form of carbonation and solution is more intense at areas of dense jointing, due to the greater surface area exposed to weathering agents and the greater ease with which water can infiltrate the rock. Conversely, weathering is less intense at areas of massive jointing. Differential weathering at areas of dense jointing vis-a-vis areas of massive jointing results in an uneven basal surface of weathering. At densely jointed areas, vertical erosion is prominent, especially in times of tectonic uplift, which leads to stream rejuvenation. This leads to the formation of dolines - conical depressions. Over time, limestone is weathered down to the water table, allowing lateral erosion to become more prominent. This enlarges and widens the dolines, forming the star-shaped depressions characteristic of cockpit karst. These depressions are separated by conical hills, which form as a result of relatively less-intense weathering at areas of massive jointing.

OMG phrasing is totally off but I don't have to take exams anymore so who cares.

*Lol what revision. Pre-A days involved endless snacking on cafe food, surfing the net on the pretext of finding Geog case studies, and sitting at the Art Room tables lazily writing out substandard essay plans.

Diet time

2012-01-14T20:13:00.007+08:00

OMG just found out my relatives in Australia recently acquired two pet alpacas. Now their mystical menagerie of magical monsters consists of pigs, goats, horses, cats, dogs, birds and alpacas. Anybody reminded of -this- video (click!)?

Forgot to add in my previous entry that I have finally breached the 45kg barrier. When I was first enslaved, I weighed a cool 41.8kg. Now I'm a whopping 45.3kg and am in dire need of losing weight. I have lost my sense of identity as a nearly two-dimensional human being.

Diet time.

Ms Suriani finally added me on Facebook. Congratulations on your induction into my personality cult, civics tutor. I warmly welcome you to my charming world.

Was reading Bryan Heng's post on how he fell off a bike and fainted, and was reminded of how I whited-out in camp last week. We were doing some warm-up drill and suddenly my vision became blurry and bright, as if someone cranked up the brightness and contrast settings on Photoshop. I didn't actually lose consciousness but it was quite cool. =x The most memorable fainting episode I've had was when I was lying on the sofa reading a newspaper, then got up too fast. All the blood rushed down from my head and I instantly crashed onto the floor face-first. The moment I hit the floor I regained consciousness and was extremely embarrassed even though the only witnesses were my cats.

I think I've told that story to several people many times before. =.=

Anyway, Ying Shao saw me sitting at the side of the parade square looking miserable, so I told him what happened. His response?

Ying Shao: "Oh, that's perfectly normal. During exercise, more blood flows to your brain, so your vision is enhanced. That's why everything becomes brighter. It happens to me a lot."

*cricket sounds*

A few days later, in the bunk:

Me: "Ying Shao, the corner where your bed is is very dark leh."

Yinzheng: "It fits his dark character."

Me: "Dark is not the same as dim."

The NEG is going to Art Stage tomorrow before I book in. Shall have my fill of beautiful things before going back to the blue-deprived jungles of Pulau Tekong in the evening for another week of dehumanization and intellectual deprivation.

Oxford rejection T_T

2012-01-13T21:35:00.003+08:00

The Queen's College
Oxford

16th December 2011

Mr. J S Miller
Singapore

Dear Mr. Miller,

I am writing now to let you know that after careful consideration it has not been possible to offer you a place at The Queen's College to read Oriental Studies with Classics, and I am sorry to have to inform you that your application is no longer under consideration by any of the other colleges at Oxford.

[...]

I do realise how disappointing this will be, and I am sorry not to have better news about your application here. As you will know, competition for places at Oxford is extremely strong. I hope, however, that you will be successful in gaining admission to one of the other Universities to which you have applied.

[...]

Yours sincerely,
Tutor for Admissions

OHHH~ *world crumbles*

If I miraculously score AAA, I will reapply again, this time for pure Egyptology. But in any case:

WHY DOES NO ONE ACCEPT KI.

a hair-razing feat

2012-01-11T21:36:00.004+08:00

as you can tell from the lack of capitalization, i am blogging from camp. i'm trying to avoid doing this because it's slow, inconvenient and ugly, but this is an exception because i feel the urge to rant at tekong's resident "hairdressers" (a more accurate term would be "hair-removers").

we were supposed to have a nice, serene night of rest, relaxation and recovery (especially after today's ippt diagnostic test, which i am proud to say i failed, as expected*), but we were suddenly chased down and made to wait for 1.5hrs as the two bitches and one man-bitch did their job on each wretched military slave individually.

(pretend this section is capitalized.) dear tekong hair-razers: you come down to our prison in the middle of the night, destroy our rest, waste our free time, snatch our money (it costs 2 dollars for them to unskillfully plough an old razor through your hair), and still complain when we don't sit in a manner that makes your cruel job easier?! i'm sorry, madam, but i noted that you brought a ladder to the torture site. please use it, instead of shoving my body down on the chair because you are too short to reach the back of my head.

i look like a goblin now. again. just in time for chinese new year. hooray!

*but i only failed sbj and pull-ups this time! my 2.4 timing has improved from a crappy 15min+ to a respectable 11:33 and i finally passed shuttle run! :o though i suspect it's not from speed training, strength training and all that other crap, but from my burning determination to blaze up the staircase, grab my soap, rip off my shoes and beat 49 other people to the showers every day.

Never again.

2012-01-08T14:22:00.007+08:00

Guard duty was a complete waste of life. I now need to find a way to extend my life by 2 days in order to reimburse myself. The only vaguely interesting things that happened were seeing a soldier mysteriously vanish into the shadows surrounding the forest, getting scared by a flock of birds exploding from a tree, chancing upon a mass of glistening black slugs and being followed by a hungry, miaowing cat halfway around the camp. I was posted to Ladang (the main camp) to do the duty and I spent a large amount of time watching the sunset and looking at the full moon, but it was still generally an absolute waste of time and something you shouldn't volunteer for unless you are a masochist or have a sub-par IQ. I can't think of anybody who'd voluntarily sleep for an hour or two before waking up at 2am to stand "guard" at an empty ferry terminal for two hours. The seaview is cold comfort, and it's only worsened by the fact that the mainland and all its shimmering lights mocks you constantly from the horizon.

Reached home at about 9.45am today. And now I have to prepare for book-in at 6.20pm today. WTF right? I know. Something is definitely wrong when you feel like a visitor in your own bedroom. =.=

yawn

2012-01-06T17:04:00.003+08:00

Guard duty now- oops, I mean WAITING FOR GUARD DUTY TO START TOMORROW MORNING. Have been here since the rest of the company booked out at 10.30am. Still have around 14 hours to burn and I have absolutely no idea what to do. At least they're allowing us to sit around and rot in the "Annex Room", which comes equipped with ~~luxurious amenities~~ the bare necessities of civilized life. Hopefully they allow us to stay there after dinner, or else I'll have to sit in the bunk by myself eating biscuits, listening to music and reading my boring book. This is when having a Blackberry comes in really handy. [/celebrity endorsement]

THINGS KEEP GETTING WORSE AND WORSE. First I was assigned guard duty on a long weekend. Then they shifted the book-out timing from Thursday night to Friday morning (i.e. "have fun sleeping in your freezing room with smelly blankets for one more night"), then they said guard duty personnel are to stay in camp straight through to the end of the duty - Sunday morning. And we still have to book back in on Sunday evening zzz.

Today was basically spent waiting - first for lunch, now for dinner, probably for sleep later. Will update when I get home.

*

Checked Nuffnang last week and realized my blog hits have dropped drastically (from close to 200 per day to around 80 per day). Perhaps people went on holidays and were too busy enjoying the sights and sounds of the world instead of my blog's scintillating green background. Or maybe it's because of the lack of new posts. In any case, I do not like it and command that you all go back to watching this space religiously. TYVM kthxbai.

VJ Open House advertisement

2012-01-02T13:56:00.016+08:00

VICTORIA JUNIOR COLLEGE

OPEN HOUSE 2012: CAPITAL V

Wednesday, 11 January, 9am-4pm

I won't be there to boost the aesthetic appeal of our trashy campus, but still...

As always, there'll be loads of things to do at the open house. Mass dances which you'll find impossible to follow, performing arts CCAs doing their thing (JOIN VJCO)... for all you know they'll even get cool stuff like Frolick yoghurt and popcorn stands like they did last year!

Of course, there are bound to be stereotypes and rumours floating around regarding VJC's campus, culture, students and atmosphere. I AM HERE TO GIVE YOU AN ALTERNATIVE (but still biased) VIEW OF OUR AWESOME SCHOOL.

Why choose VJ? :D

1. If you intend to actually have a life while you're in JC, it helps that VJ is surrounded by loads of cool places.

ECP is literally across the road (great if you're a KI teacher with nothing to do).
Parkway, Siglap, Katong and all their wonders are 10-minute bus rides away. Ice Cream Chefs, Udders, bubble tea, banmian... ohhhh~ *glazed look*
There are direct buses to the city, so you can strut around Orchard Road in your ugly PE shirt if you want to.
ThaiPan is right next door. BUTTER SQUID, ANYONE? The General Office orders dinner from ThaiPan every day (plus lunch on Saturdays), so you can just place your order with good ol' Jancy and continue mugging. (BTW I haven't eaten butter squid in literally months, so I'd gladly appreciate it if you could buy me some, TYVM.)

2. This is extremely politically-correct and not in my spirit, but VJ balances work and play REALLY well. And the school spirit is damn strong. Everyone loves VJ, and VJ loves everyone. Even if you're a cynical, bitchy blogger like me.

Hip and fashionable teachers (unless you're a Science student)! The teachers here are also really nice and care for their students, whether you're a brilliant Einsteinian genius or have an IQ below sea level and smoked your way through the 'O'-Levels with skills of bullshitting rivalling those of Reuben Lee Yi.
Mass Dances! Nobody really knows all the steps but it's still fun to convulse and twitch around randomly with your friends.
Extremely hyper Orientation programme. If you're the quiet, cynical type, you will have to brace yourself and try to stay afloat until Orientation settles down. But after that you'll have tons of opportunities to socialize in more... normal ways. -.-
Wide range of CCAs! VJ prides itself on its sports (and rightly so), but its performing arts groups are extremely good too (world-class choir, awesome dance troupe, godly *cough* Chinese orchestra, not to mention a symphonic band with very friendly members LOL). You'll have lots of opportunities to show your support and be supported by your friends in the various CCAs, through match support, concerts and ad hoc CCA events. If you're boring and lifeless you could also join things like the Animal Welfare Society or the First Aid Club.
Biz Club sells a range of VJ-themed t-shirts every year. SHOW YOUR LOVE FOR THE SCHOOL WITH ~~NAUSEATING~~ VIBRANT YELLOW CLOTHES.

3. Wide range of academic choices for those seriously intending to study. You can be a cookie-cutter PCME student, a slightly more eccentric BCML student, or choose from a vast catalogue of exotic subject combinations, from GLAM to LGTM to LAME to METH... don't forget that you can also pick KI and H3! And the school is really flexible when it comes to subjects. You can be one of hundreds taking your combination, or be the only person in the entire school population (like me, hehehe). Oh and you can drop your subjects from H2 to H1 (or H1 to nothing, if applicable) anytime from J1 right through to the week before prelims (like me, hehehe).

4. Uniforms are decent, though not extraordinarily fashionable.

5. Facilities kinda suck, but it's possible to live in school if you want to. Just use the 2nd-floor PT toilets and sit in the more comfortable rattan chairs when you're in the Concourse and you'll be fine. Not to mention the ice lemon tea you can get from the cafe (from friendly staff like Zalinah and Jack)! Just beware of the lecture theatres, which are either freezing cold, stuffy and warm, smell of pee or hurt your butt with extremely uncomfortable chairs (trade-off is the free power sockets which some people use to charge their phones, etc.).

6. Canteen has a decent variety of food. It's a bit hard to choose when you first come in, but, like all canteens, it does get boring after a year or so. The food is really unhealthy, though. Loads of fried things and tons of sweet drinks everywhere (and I'm not even including the many drink machines we have...) so VJ's a good place to indulge your sweet tooth and kill your heart, liver and kidneys in the process. Doesn't matter because we're all gonna die in the end.

7. Everyone is friendly and everyone knows everyone else. Even the security guards.

8. We have treehouses. J1s love them. 'Nuff said.

9. Lots of "welfare" provisions and privileges. School starts later on Monday morning, breaks are abundant (if you have a weird subject combi, that is), PE is quite slack, food is eaten everywhere, there are cats to play with, etc.

Any downsides to VJ? How do you know if VJ is not for you? :O

1. You are not interested in anything but mugging, or you feel that you will need to focus terribly much on your studies (without being a closet mugger) just to do decently in the 'A'-Levels.

2. You dislike "high" people and find it completely impossible to unleash your inner retard.

3. A pretty campus and stellar facilities are a must for you. Or maybe you just hate red railings, bare concrete floors, disintegrating tabletops, spoilt air-conditioners and claustrophobic classrooms.

4. You are interested in TSD, but would rather focus on technical/design aspects like set, lighting, sound and costume, rather than acting.

5. You have poor time management (time management is important in any JC, but possibly more so in VJ because there are so many "extraneous" activities and events, especially in the first half of the year). Really, the key (unless you're a genius or last-minute warrior) is to pay attention in J1. Because it's really easy to slack off in the first half, screw your foundation and consequently spiral into the depths of academic hell.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :DDDDDD

2012-01-01T00:00:00.002+08:00

Hello, 2012!

Last post of 2011

2011-12-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

Goodbye, 2011!

2011-12-31T15:56:00.006+08:00

Just finished watching Season 3 of Teen Titans on YouTube, which means I've finally re-watched the entire series! *clap clap* My new project - to keep me occupied while at home - is to decipher the final episode in light of Season 2, Terra's fate and her relationship with Beast Boy. The episode did contain some lines and elements I deem significant, and which could shed light on the issue of her suggested "return" and its implications on the series and its universe, thereby securing at least some loose ends. For my own reference:

Episode title: "Things Change" - key ideas of change, non-change, stability, inevitability, finality (resignation?)

The form-shifting monster - possible parallels to Beast Boy's shapeshifting

"I'm just a girl with a geometry test next period and I haven't studied" - shapes and forms, the issue of being able to study/practise such things

"The girl you want me to be is just a memory" - ambiguous; the girl resembling Terra could really be Terra, who has since chosen ("studied"?) to forget her past ("geometry"?), or a different individual who simply physically resembles her ("geometry") and who Beast Boy is psychologically equating with Terra in an attempt to mould ("studied"?) into someone else

Contrast between the bright light from outside and the shadows of Beast Boy and the girl in the corridor during the final scene

Setting of a school (place of learning and uniformity); Beast Boy running into the light at the end of the corridor while the girl retreats into darkness, towards an "EXIT" sign, away from him, and, by extension, the Teen Titans

Different waitress, same pie at Ben's Restaurant; "I'll have one for the road" - cf. Terra's past as a drifter?

No change in the House of Mirrors since the events of Season 2; mirrors remain shattered and unreflecting; Beast Boy on the floor experiencing an emotional crisis, just as Terra was in Season 2 - links between characters

Destruction of the roller-coaster - cf. destruction of the ferris wheel in Season 2

Presence of a Slade decoy, cf. Season 1; being attacked by the decoy in the theme park, cf. Slade's attack in Season 2 - issue of deception, references to the past and whether things truly have changed (and if they have, what exactly has changed, and what has remained the same?)

Terra's central issue of control (self-control and discipline, control of others, ability to control one's fate) and its links with Beast Boy's inability to control what changes, what has changed and what has not

Final word of the episode: "Over."

I sound like a total geek and loser but this looks like it could potentially be quite fun!

10A15 Christmas Party 2011!

2011-12-30T23:11:00.007+08:00

Back from the A15 Christmas party at Christal's house! Wasn't very Christmasy but was still quite fun squeezing onto her sofa, playing Kinect games on her Xbox and absent-mindedly watching The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Underworld DVDs. Felt weird wearing Keep shoes and ankle socks after nearly a month of tight leather boots, knee-high socks and garters. =.=

Photos from Hui Qi:

[the guys. This photo is really ugly.]

[better.]

[I look gross. "And your point is...?"]

[the Kinect pro.]

[furious boxing match in progress.]

[me exercising my natural seductive charm.]

[resistance is futile.]

["Shut up, Dweeb."]

[forehead zits, haiz.]

[teehee.]

[just when you thought Hui Qi was very glam. For Christal it goes without saying, of course.]

[THE SHAME.]

Came back and showered and I think I'm down with the flu. Have a slowly-intensifying headache now, my eyes have become sensitive to light and the rest of my body is hypersensitive to touch. Hope I didn't spread it to anyone just now because in Christal's house I was still feeling okay! Muhahahaha, hopefully this persists till Tuesday so I can report sick in camp. :P

Shameera sent me an FB message saying a couple of her friends got their Oxford offer/rejection letters SO I'M NOW ON TENTERHOOKS WAITING FOR MINE. Almost as if getting an offer equals getting in. -.-

LONG BREAK, AHHHH~

2011-12-29T21:37:00.016+08:00

Woohoo I'm out again till the 2nd. HOW NICE. Can't wait to enjoy my LONG BREAK. Am watching Teen Titans on YouTube while nomming on chocolates and bakkwa and reading Philosophy and Egyptology papers online. This is the life - way better than getting pumped in the rain and mud while blistering fusillades of profanities are hurled at you. The best activities so far have been all the flexibility stuff, because I get to do what I do best while the rest of the company moans and groans as they struggle in vain to spread their legs wider than like, 30°. "非常不好", as someone would say.

Ming Hao and I have earned a dubious reputation as the "VJ best friends" in the platoon. It's quite disturbing how people I've never even talked to know who I am through him (and vice versa). Never mind. The more people inducted into my personality cult, the better.

I've been selected to do guard duty on the 7th of January. That sucks because it's basically the worst guard duty EVER. Most guard duty sessions are like, overnight, but this one is TWENTY-FOUR HOURS LONG. It's a long weekend too. Booking out on the 5th (Thursday), have Friday free, then booking in on SEVEN FREAKING A.M. on the 7th and staying till SEVEN FREAKING A.M. on the 8th before booking out. To make matters worse, I have to book in for the next week of joyful training on the evening of the 8th, i.e. my weekend is completely burned and I am being pseudo-confined again like some disobedient recruit. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS. IS IT SUCH A SIN TO NOT HAVE VOLUNTEERED FOR GUARD DUTY ON NEW YEAR'S EVE?

Anyway I'll make a truly horrible guard. An unarmed teenager can easily overpower me (unless they are vulnerable to wild, random bitchslapping, accompanied by desperate screams for help and attempts to flee), so any intruder able to cross the ocean, trek through dense jungle and enter a fortified military camp in the middle of the night (and be willing to sacrifice his weekend for all that shit) is clearly capable of slaughtering me in less than five seconds. Especially when I am wielding nothing but a small black baton and a rattan shield that'd be better off as a cat's scratching post.

Though I suppose it's reasonable to give me the job, since the medics are highly competent, claiming that the bone just below your lowest pair of ribs is the "coccyx". *facepalm* Because when I'm injured, unconscious and require urgent resuscitation after being bashed over the head and gang-raped by a band of knife-wielding thugs, the first thing I want is someone compressing my ass. Thank you very much. I felt very safe and secure after attending that valuable and insightful lecture.

Sian. A15 Christmas/New Year party has been cancelled. OH WELL, LOOKS LIKE YOU ALL WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE AND TOUCH MY ASTRO-TURF HEAD ANYTIME SOON.

P.S: I agree with Yelsel, that my posts need more pics. Unfortunately my phone doesn't have a camera (duh) so I can't take any pictures. Technically I could get around to adding pictures to the post on the A15 Senior-Junior Gathering we had in February, but I'm quite lazy and my schedule is oh-so-packed (I'm making it sound like I actually have a life when all I do is run around like a retard, sweat buckets and eat chicken legs virtually every day).

2011-12-27T07:14:00.003+08:00

blogging from camp?! this brings desperation to a whole new level. i can't capitalize my words using my blackberry. very annoying but it'll have to do until i return to the overworld and fix it.

[UPDATE FROM THE OVERWORLD: Nah I'll leave it as it is. So that when I view this post in the future, I will be reminded of how horrible my life in the army was, deprived of such basic rights as capital letters.]

Sex and the City-State

2011-12-26T15:26:00.027+08:00

Read in today's The New Paper that Catholic parents and educators are pushing MOE to revamp the current sex ed curriculum in schools and emphasise abstinence over contraception, because the latter lies in conflict with Catholic beliefs and values.

I treat issues regarding the relationship between the individual and society (including the expression and representation of self in society and the mirroring of self in society) very seriously, so this is my take on the issue, made from a non-religious (not to be confused with "anti-religious") standpoint. I shall not address the issue of sex education per se, but instead use the topic as a springboard for larger, more general discussion of appropriate decision-making in Singaporean society*.

Singapore is a multi-religious society that encompasses a myriad belief and value systems. Desires to impose individual, religiously motivated beliefs on the rest of our [ideally] secular society should not and must not be tolerated, for the good of society itself. Why should MOE revamp the entire sex ed curriculum just to cater to the tastes and preferences of a particular group? To me, that violates the ideal of secularity and inclusiveness our society strives for. Inclusiveness does not mean catering the system to individual beliefs. It means developing a system or systems through which different belief systems and their possibly conflicting values can co-exist with minimal risk of conflict between belief-holders.

To clarify: in this entry, I treat "values" as the implications of "beliefs". Contextualised, this would be something like "I believe in God, who tells us to cherish and treasure the sanctity of life; consequently, I value abstinence over contraception, as the latter does not involve the act of terminating or interrupting a potentially life-creating act". This post has nothing to do with the ethics of contraception, the quotation of religious scripture or the exegesis of such scripture, so any inaccuracy in the above statement is irrelevant to my discussion and its degree of argumentative strength and acceptability.

MOE should not revamp the curriculum. If any changes are made, they should apply only to the Catholic schools requesting the change. Catholic schools function according to Catholic values, and thus it is acceptable for the schools' educational programmes to adhere to such values. But attempting to promulgate one's values to the rest of society - which does not necessarily share such values (and even if they do, such values do not share the same source, i.e. religious beliefs, and thus should not be promulgated solely on the basis of such beliefs - see below discussion on the issue of common desire and utilitarianism) - reeks of bigotry and narrow-mindedness.

MOE is a secular organisation, and hence any decisions made by MOE should not arise from a desire to please, accommodate or appease any particular societal body (i.e. a body that shares a set of beliefs, and, consequently, values - assuming all people sharing the same set of beliefs necessarily share the same set of values; this in turn presupposes that underdetermination does not exist, or at least pose a problem, in this situation (a vast oversimplification, but this entry is not meant to be a detailed inquiry into the functioning of society)). The organisation's aim is to encourage and maximise awareness of issues relating to sex and sexuality, such as STDs, pre-marital sex and unplanned/unwanted [teenage] pregnancies. Thus, it should adopt a pragmatic, utilitarian approach to the issue. That means reviewing non-religiously motivated facts and scientific evidence THAT SHOW THE TEACHING OF CONTRACEPTION IS MORE EFFECTIVE IN ACHIEVING THE AIMS OF REDUCING STD AND PREGNANCY RATES, AS COMPARED TO ABSTINENCE.

Besides, assuming only and all Catholics prefer abstinence to contraception, the body opposing the current sex ed curriculum is a minority in our society, which consists of a variety of religious belief systems, as well as a significant portion of non-religious people. It would be ludicrous to suggest the MOE revamps the curriculum for the entire nation simply to comply with the demands of a minority in society, when such decisions affect society as a whole and do not take other opinions into account. This idea is strengthened when considering the fact that, in reality, there exist people who claim to be a member of a particular religion (e.g. Catholicism) but do not actively practise or stay true to its teachings (e.g. me), reducing the extent to which changes to the curriculum could even benefit members of society, let alone society itself.

It will be a sad day indeed when decisions by the secular sovereignty are made in submissive appropriation of the beliefs of individual societal/social/demographic sectors and groups. Such decisions neither work for the common desire(s) and good of the people (which Rousseau, in The Social Contract, claims to be the intrinsic identity and function of the state, respectively) nor the pragmatic progress the state itself seeks to achieve through such decisions. The state will lose its credibility as an extension and executor of the common intersubjective will, instead becoming a tool for the diffusion of individual values, ultimately and counterproductively disintegrating society from the inside out. Be proactive, not reactive. Leave the curriculum as it is and let the religious riot.

*Viz. in both Singapore's society and societies similar to that of Singapore's - co-existent heterogeneous belief and value systems governed by an [ideally] secular and unified government with a homogeneous will and vision for society.

Booking in at 7.10pm. Be back on the 30th! :D Spent my weekend overdosing on meat (Christal will understand) and watching the fifth season of Teen Titans. -.- Now I'm left with only the third season!

圣诞节快乐!

2011-12-25T00:00:00.005+08:00

~~Happy birthday to me...~~

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Back from honeymoon

2011-12-23T23:45:00.012+08:00

Boom boom bada boom I'm back from Pulau Tekong, all tanned and sexy and buff*. I didn't originally intend to keep a diary during my stay in Tartarus, but my notebook (initially used to take lecture notes) eventually became a doodling and ranting ground (because the lectures sucked and the projector screens were faded). Some content here is adapted from my in-camp rants.

My dad has a few pics of me before and after my refreshing tropical getaway - i.e. there are pictures of me in No. 4 uniform, and without hair - but being the tech-illiterate 62-year old that he is, he has no idea what that complex device known as a USB port looks like, much less how to operate it. When he is freer I'll go get it from him and try to upload some shit. No pics of my bald head directly, of course. :)

Note: Please pardon any unusual formatting errors in this post. My PC conked out while I was away and my laptop sometimes screws up my formatting.

LET US BEGIN.

LOCATION

BMTC School IV is located in Rocky Hill Camp, in the middle of Tekong, i.e. the middle of nowhere. Ladang (the main camp and site of Schools I, II and III) is adjacent to the ferry terminal, has a seaview, and is much bigger and, dare I say, happening. -.-' WTH lah, just to get to School IV, I have to take a 10min truck ride through dense jungle.

MINDEF would say the compound is serene and peaceful. I just say it's ulu and boring.

FACILITIES, AMENITIES AND ACCOMMODATION

Basic, basically. But surprisingly better than the Clink (Lit Trip post will be up before I enter uni, I promise). Rooms are spacious and clean and there are far fewer insects than I originally expected to see, even though the massive brown moth in the corridor scared the shit out of me when I went to the toilet at 1am in the morning. But the bed linen stinks to high heaven. Have to spam Febreeze on it just to sleep without feeling as if a homeless tramp/Justin is rubbing his ass all over my face.

And to debunk a popular myth, there is no true "communal bathing". There are cubicles. And hygiene standards are kept relatively high, to be honest. I mean, you do have a few barbarians who choose to bathe only once a day and reuse their dirty clothes after wringing the sweat out of them and spraying them with Febreeze, but we are given more than enough time to bathe several times a day, if we want to. Seriously, Singapore forums give the most far-fetched, whacked-up accounts of Tekong. Probably written by old Ah Bengs whose NS experience is probably irrelevant to the 21st century, or by uneducated tramps trying to scare innocent young boys. Or perhaps Rocky Hill is just newer and has better facilities.

But the showers are cold. Like, really cold. Like, seriously freaking cold. When I came back to civilization I was like "OMG, finally hot water that's not from a water cooler or drink dispenser".

The swimming pool at Rocky Hill is quite okay. The water is salty, however, and consequently I'd prefer to think of the pool as a saltwater one, rather than an Olympic-sized, chlorinated sea of sweat.

Medical facilities are okay. People were raving about the female staff there. -.- But if you fall sick/get injured/lapse into a coma before 8am or after 4pm, too bad because you'll have to take a bumpy truck ride all the way back to Ladang's medical centre, most probably breaking more bones in the process - because the medics at Rocky Hill are lazy and would rather much book out and sleep than attend to the sick and dying.

There is a severe lack of the colour blue in camp. My eyes were craving blue the same way my tongue was craving sugar (see below). All the buildings are either yellow, green or white! Looking at the sky didn't help because it was basically covered in grey clouds all the time. I suggest bringing along a packet of Oreos or some sapphire jewellery if you don't want to experience severe colour cravings.

FOOD AND DRINK

To debunk another popular myth, eating Tekong's cookhouse food is not the same as sipping water from a cesspool. At least in School IV, the food is pretty decent, although the menu does get predictable after a while. Of course, there are the occasional surprises, like the massive Christmas feast we got (half a spring chicken each, mashed potatoes, bread, soup, rice, broccoli, cake, ice-cream, apple juice), and the large locust-like insect Dai Weng found in his lunch. Poor potato was traumatized for life.

All the training and exercise (JORDAN DOING EXERCISE?! WOW) has made me extremely hungry, and I've actually been finishing all the food they've been giving us. Including the aforementioned Christmas feast. I actually smuggled up two extra slices of the cake, plus an apple from breakfast to eat later in the night. =x Not to mention they gave us each a goodie bag containing a bag of potato chips, a chocolate bar, some crackers, a packet of peanuts and a a can of green tea, all of which I ate as well. Am going to weigh myself later to see if I've broken the 42kg barrier.

I've also miraculously begun to eat tofu and vegetables, probably because the stupid training makes me hungry. Given a choice, I would never eat such disgusting things. I also found myself craving sugar over the confinement period, because the only sweet things we get are over-diluted fruit cordials and measly doses of fructose in the form of apples and other boring fruits.

You should see people's reactions when the commanders give us canteen breaks (there's a difference between the cookhouse and the canteen - the former is for proper meals and the latter is basically a snack shop we're allowed to go to when the commanders are feeling merciful). There was one time when the sergeant asked us to fall in at 8.30pm or something if we wanted to go to the canteen, and some idiots were late by about 2 minutes. In their desperation for junk food, they did 20 push-ups just so the sergeant would let them go. AND SOME OF THEM WERE SICK/INJURED THAT DAY. =.=

Oh, and there are also pepperonis, NYEH HEH HEH. *cough*

WHAT IS IN THE ARMOURY

You weren't seriously thinking I'm going to risk being charged in military court, were you?

PEOPLE

I'm in BMTC School IV, 4th Company, Platoon 1, Section 4. And I'm the 5th bed in that section. The people here are expectedly very different and my sense of humour has proven to be vastly different (i.e. superior). People laugh at things which aren't even funny, and applaud inane, bathetic remarks they deem witty, while I sit there facepalming and rolling my eyes.

Section 4 has like 13 people: Tsun Hao, Zhong Kai (who looks like Peng Chuen OMG), Saravanan (AKA Sara), me, Huat Heng, Wai Zhan, Isaac, Luke, Justin, Ying Shao, Yinzheng, Adli and Daiweng. 4 JC students and 9 poly students. The company always makes fun of 2nd and 6th coys because of their rather different demographic. *cough*

Basically Wai Zhan sleeps a lot, Justin farts and exposes himself a lot, Ying Shao is retarded and the rest of us just laugh at Ying Shao. Such an exciting life.

Most commanders are unnecessarily vulgar and offensive but at least they're not targeting anyone in particular. Their variations on traditional profanities and tactical use of harsh, spitting plosives is quite commendable in cases but still not a skill warranting applause and praise. My platoon's sergeants are damn nice and lenient (so far). It's especially apparent when you see Platoon 2 marching around and doing push-ups in the parade square while Platoon 1 enjoys leisurely showers and 2hr breaks.

SCENERY

Sara: "Jordan, can you describe the forest over there to me, in an innovative and poetic way?"

Me: "It's a dark f***ing jungle. What more is there to it?"

ACTIVITIES

Since this is PTP, our activities consist mostly of... (Wait for it.) PT. Hooray! Run here run there, do like 5 different types of push-ups... the most embarrassing thing in the world has got to be aqua-jogging, though. Basically you strap this thick, blue, captain belt to your waist and literally run from one end of the pool to the other like an idiot. It's supposed to train your cardiovascular fitness the same way running on land does, but without the impact and strain on your knees and muscles. At the same time it makes you look extraordinarily stupid.

The real "military" stuff will come in once proper BMT starts. *shudder*

SECRET MILITARY INFORMATION...

... cannot be revealed to the general public. Not like I have any, in the first place. I'm just a humble ~~recruit~~ meat-shield.

*No, seriously, my abs are showing now. :O

P.S: Tagboard is back up!

P.P.S: Prom post will be up ASAP!

Eternity of torment, BEGIN!

2011-12-09T08:45:00.006+08:00

Tropical island getaway.

Victoria Junior College - Senior Dinner & Dance 2011

2011-12-09T01:10:00.005+08:00

More updates when I have the time. Although I must say I loved prom. And not simply because I had ten girls dancing around me, screaming "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL" in my face.

GOODBYE, WORLD

2011-12-08T17:24:00.006+08:00

The Queen's College interview was mad, to say the least. Once again, the tutors grilled me about my Chinese results. -.- What made it worse is that they both teach Chinese over there. =.= The other questions were very interesting, though.

Off to prom soon. Last post until Christmas, probably. >_>

P.S: Removing tagboard to prevent spam while I'm away. If you have any comments, save them for when I get back. Or SMS me and if I'm not dead I'll try to reply. =.=

2011-12-07T21:02:00.018+08:00

Got incinerated by SPH but the Oxford Egyptology interview was extremely liberating, strangely fun and very stimulating ("什么?!"). Got stumped by a particularly deep question (can't say here; interviewees aren't allowed to disclose questions) and sat there stoning for half a minute until Prof Baines moved on to another topic. Thinking back, I totally could've answered it. Zzz this always happens. -.- As expected, they enquired about my linguistic aptitude and used the opportunity to bring up my not-so-stellar Chinese grade. *ahem* Got drawn into an interesting discussion about Shakespeare and knowledge of the Classical tradition in Elizabethan society (and the implications of such knowledge/lack of knowledge), and then it ended. Way too quickly for my liking. :( It was a really casual interview. All three of us were smiling and laughing throughout and I wasn't nervous at all once it started. It was like having an extraordinarily geeky conversation with extraordinarily geeky friends. ;)

And I like how the discussion was sparked off by issues of gender and class (which I mentioned in my personal statement) before building up and branching off into all sorts of fascinating topics like social mobility, social hierarchy and the subjectivity of observers. My mugging paid off. =x Not like horrible scholarship interviews which are designed to destroy you with your own words. =.= AND THE SKYPE CONNECTION WAS SURPRISINGLY SMOOTH.

College interview at RJC tomorrow before prom. I hope it goes ok, in case my confidence after the faculty interview today is... misplaced. =.= And I really hope they don't grill me on the Classics stuff because I haven't actually read much. Been focusing too much on the Egyptology. =.=

Things to do tomorrow:

Mug as much Classics as possible to minimize chances of academic rape

Prepare stuff for prom

Eat as much junk food as possible

Decide on which book(s) to bring into hell

Oil and dust yangqin, remove broken strings, secure loose nut, prepare silica gel and keep it in the case

Make sure my bag for hell is packed

Make sure spare phone batteries are fully charged

Listen to CO music

Blog - I really don't care about bidding my loyal ~~readers~~ minions farewell. What's more important is getting the Breaking Dawn poster off the front page.

Breaking Dawn

2011-12-06T22:27:00.012+08:00

Ok I'm gonna make this quick because I have two interviews to mug for tomorrow. Went to Orchard with Gwyn and Geri today (i.e. my husband and our convenient tag-along maid). Ate rosti and bread pudding at Marche and felt totally sick after stuffing all that potato into my gastrointestinal tract. Then we rushed off to Orchard Cineleisure to watch a movie!

Gwyn wanted to watch Immortals (despite the huge poster spelling "Ares" as "Aries"), but Geraldine was underage and the bitchy cashier was like "NO BITCH YU CANOT WATCH THIS SHIT EVEN THO UR BDAY IN LIKE 20 DAES AND THERE RLY IS NO DIFRNCE". Bitch. So we had to settle for Breaking Dawn.

Yes, you heard that right. I watched a Twilight movie.

And I am proud to say that it sucked!

Way too much unnecessary kissing in the movie. And yes, I saw Bella's characteristic "distant, contemplative gaze, mouth half open to expose deliciously white incisors" look many many times. Producers did a good job baiting fangirls like Peifen by making Taylor Lautner rip off his shirt and run in the rain in the very first scene.

Note: I'm not a stalker, Princess. I just happened to see you ogling a massive Taylor Lautner poster in the canteen the other time. You were being very subtle about it.

Won't spoil much for those who actually desire to see the movie, but let's just say the "birth scene" was rather... eww. But after Shameera's Horror Night, I could take the screams, blood and epileptic flashes. Not so much the fake-looking baby, though. I hate babies. Also, Edward was desperately pumping the dead Bella's chest, trying to revive her, to no avail. I think he forgot that humans need oxygen. Blow into her mouth next time, yeah?

OH AND LOLOLOL EDWARD CULLEN BROKE THE FREAKING BED WHILE GETTING IT ON WITH BELLA LOL.

And after that she still said, "For a human, it couldn't get any better". ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I HAVE A STRONG FEELING YOUR CERVIX RUPTURED, WOMAN. I MEAN, THE BED FREAKING BROKE.

Rolled my eyes, sighed and tugged at a loose eyelash throughout the whole film. I hope people didn't think I was, god forbid, crying. Gwyn kept making noise throughout the movie and irritating me. As revenge, I shall put up this quote:

Gwyn: "I have a new obsession with Barbie dolls. My mum says my future wife will be a Barbie."

Me: "I think she meant babi."

Fatso decided to fuel his obsession by going to the toy section of Takashimaya. We saw a few big-busted Barbies (*cue feminist objections*) but then he and Geri started squealing over GUNDAM and LEGO. Zzzzzzzz.

Walked around a bit more in Plaza Sing and then I went to Parkway to meet Enzon, Bingz, Kai Yi, Wai Hong and Steffi for dinner (lazy to highlight their names. Pretend I did). Gossipped in Ajisen before camwhoring at the giant Christmas tree outside the mall like idiotic tourists, then I went home WOOHOO.

P.S: I've told several people "I dunno what I want for Christmas. It's ok if you don't get me anything." Well forget I said that because I WANT A BLACK OTAMATONE. Google and YouTube it. It wails like a dying cat and is irritating as hell but I still want one for the heck of it.

Shameera's Horror Night

2011-12-06T01:14:00.005+08:00

1.14am and I'm here blogging woohoo! Am back from Shameera's HORROR NIGHT. Am ashamed to say this, but usually cynical and antisocial me actually found it fun. THE HORROR~

Ok before I start blogging proper, lemme do my Neopets dailies. *pause*

Anyway we watched SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (which technically isn't a horror film) and SCREAM. I left halfway through 4BIA, after laughing at the characters' names. Aey, Ter, Shin and Puak. -.- Incidentally, 4BIA 2 made me break out into one of my extended laughing fits when I first saw it in VSCO camp last year. Sec Ones were crying and I was sitting there laughing because it was so ridiculous. =.= It was the scene where a horde of zombies chased a truck through the Thai countryside. =.=

Didn't eat a proper dinner and instead survived on chips, popcorn, marshmallows and soft drinks. But it was damn fun laughing at Scream and coming up with crazy theories about the killer's identity. And there was a moment when we were watching people who were watching people who were watching people. =.=

Sian, Mei Yin didn't turn up. I was looking forward to having her hide behind me in fear.

Going out with Gwyn and Geraldine tomorrow (GG). Goodnight, bimbos.

THANK YOU SHAMEERA! :D

More animal satire + RIP yangqin stick

2011-12-04T00:18:00.012+08:00

Mugging for interviews (yes I'm mugging after As) is actually quite fun, even though there's so much to read up on and the odds of getting into the course are so slim anyway. =.= I am very ashamed to say this but I am still laughing at the Egyptian animal cartoons. =.= LOOK AT THE LION'S FACE.

According to the British Museum, the damaged part of the papyrus at the extreme left is most probably a bedroom scene, i.e. sexy time between the lion and the gazelle (it's the triumphant lion's reward for beating the voluptuous, fecund gazelle in the board game). -__-"

And apparently there was a depiction of a battle led by mice (in chariots drawn by dogs), attacking a fortress defended by cats. And the mice were victorious so the "mouse pharaoh" got to live a life of luxury, being served by numerous cat servants. -_-

RIP, YANGQIN STICK.

Goodbye, flower/berry 桂习礼 qinzhu. Then again, you were very thick, heavy and rigid and never were particularly good tools because I was too scared to file you down considering the disaster that was ~~Arthur and Melinda~~ the dragon qinzhu.

End of As! :O

2011-12-02T17:06:00.003+08:00

'A'-Levels are over! WHATEVER.

TSD was ok. We got the slack invigilator again (the same one as KI). She didn't even check our books - poor Shilun, he wrote "non-sequitur" in his Dumb Waiter text and couldn't erase it so he literally ripped out the pages to make sure he wouldn't get caught.

I hated the Unseen though. Both Molly and Beane seem like very annoying characters. Fun to act but not to write about. Shilun did the set design question and suggested setting the stage on fire. He claims it's "the future of theatre". *cough*

TSD kids (excluding the beloved MAYMAY) went to Orchard after that. We got wet (in the rain), ate fish, walked around and went home. Jonk and Nick probably think Rachel, Shilun, Kristal and me are retarded because we went all the way to Funan in the hopes of going to Mind Cafe (sounds like a pretty lame place), only to find that it was closed for some staff party. =.=

Most exciting part of today was on the way home on the bus (I was alone; unfortunately for the other three, they couldn't savour my presence for long). Some old Malay woman fell down while getting off the bus, apparently because the driver closed the doors too early and pushed her off the step. I was sleeping so I only noticed when I happened to open my eyes and saw her sprawled on the ground. -_-

Anyway she started screeching at the driver. He apologised but she was ruthless, refusing to accept it and instead taking down the license plate number and his name, and asking another woman on the bus to be her "witness" for her fiery complaint. *cough*

In any case I really think she was overreacting. The rest of the passengers were also clearly exasperated and just wanted her to stop. It was just a mistake. You are capable of getting up, stomping around and screaming loudly. You are obviously not in a coma and the bus driver has already apologised. There's nothing else to be done since you refuse to accept the apology so PLEASE JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE. =.=

No idea what to make of the A* grades. -.- Maybe I'll email them since my application explicitly used the Singapore 'A'-Level system. Why am I even talking about 'A'-Levels now, anyway? =.=

P.S: Today's the last day I wear the VJC school uniform!

2011-11-30T02:20:00.011+08:00

Ok I seriously have no more life, and I'm not even referring to the 6 hours of mugging set, lighting and costume design, absurdism, comedy of manners, naturalism, Commedia dell'Arte, physical theatre, Stanislavsky, Le Coq, Laban, Brecht, Berkoff and essays today.

I am referring to my new and revised schedule for the upcoming week!

Wednesday (today): TSD revision

Thursday: TSD revision

Friday: TSD exam

Saturday: ~~NS shopping~~ Last Rites with Justus and Leonard

Sunday: Mosquito Gang dinner (tentative)

Monday: "Horror marathon" at Shameera's house

Tuesday: SPH scholarship talk

Wednesday: SPH scholarship interview AND Oxford faculty interview with Dr Elizabeth Frood (Lecturer in Egyptology) and Prof John Baines (Professor of Egyptology)

Thursday: Oxford college interview with Dr Dirk Meyer (Lecturer in Chinese Philosophy) AND prom

Friday: enslavement/dehumanisation/psychological oblivion

Hooray! Most people's lives begin after the 'A'-Levels. Mine ends. At least Dr Frood's research interests are in areas I'm interested in as well. Visual representation, sacred space and landscape, social structure and organization. Ooh, so step. I sound like a supernerd now. ;) *sniffs hurriedly and does calculator workout routine*

Oh, and to prove that I really did study, here are some extracts of the hilarious lighting notes Mr B put on the TSD Google Site:

MEOW

2011-11-29T22:14:00.002+08:00

Mandy's Wrath

2011-11-29T00:56:00.001+08:00

‎*on VJ Mail chat*

Me: "There's a McDonald's 2mins away from my house. And it's 24hrs. I could like, walk there now, grab some fries..."

Mei Yin: "GO DIE LAH JORDAN SCOTT MILLER. SSCREWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Turin Erotic Papyrus

2011-11-27T20:39:00.008+08:00

[animal satire in the Turin Erotic Papyrus, c. 1150BC]

It reminds me of Noma's drawings of Shirified people. I laughed when I saw the donkey-harpist in the top-right.

2011-11-26T23:08:00.028+08:00

Congratulations, Jordan. Due to a... ticketing error, you have been prevented from watching Richard III! Do not forget that you are also unable to watch Wicked, or go on holiday, or attend TJCO concert and VSCO concert, plus other CO concerts, or help out with the yangqins at VS, or take up a teaching internship, or go for the Impressionism show at the museum (not to mention you didn't go for the Dali exhibition), or watch the Puss In Boots movie, or enrol in university before your brain decomposes into a watery soup, or attend post-prom without worrying about having to carry a bag 3/4 of your body weight the moment the cursed sun rises in the blackened morning, or even celebrate Christmas and collect your results next year without looking like an escaped specimen from the Bird Park! Plus your prom jacket arrived looking duller than expected, so you will look like an old man if you choose to wear it!

Spent my day studying theatre instead of watching it. Life sucks. >_> Let's see... so the audiences of the Restoration period treated the theatre as a social activity and space to flaunt fashion and indulge in flirtation with other members of the English leisure class; they desired a visual and aural spectacle and to be engaged with the performance, reflected in the inclusion of song and dance, and their complicity with the actors through the use of asides and an intimate, candle-lit apron stage with action primarily downstage of the proscenium arch, together with extravagant stock characters delivering contemporary elocution while clad in current finery; and to see themselves and their everyday, hedonistic concerns of sexual pursuit, wealth and marital woes lightheartedly reflected on a larger-than-life stage, as seen in the use of stock scenes, static and mimetic framed painted backdrops, conventional dramatic structures and weak, unconvincing plots to hold the comic tableaux together like a thinly-spun tapestry, all the while jointly searching with contemporary playwrights for a new social and moral code to replace the restrictive Puritan values of Cromwell's stifling interregnum. Until, of course, the moralistic bourgeoisie rose in status and called for an end to loose, reckless libertinism (probably because they were sick of being ridiculed in performance, and of having to sit in the upper balcony, envying the aristocracy liaising with the "orange girls" in the box seats).

~~Post-exam~~ Pathetic-week-after-exam* schedule:

Friday after exam: Mei Yin will probably drag us out for an "Octagon Lunch"
Saturday: ~~Fun leisurely outing~~ Buying army shit with Leonard and Justus
Sunday: ?
Monday: "Horror marathon" at Shameera's house *cough* Well it IS Shameera's house...
Tuesday: ?
Wednesday: SPH scholarship interview
Thursday: Prom
Friday: Dehumanisation + lime-sorbet hiatus

Not to mention that the Oxford interviews are usually around 4-10 December. =.=

*"Stop calling it a farm, David. This is not a farm, it's just a piece of land where I grow things." - Lucy Lurie

2011-11-25T19:11:00.020+08:00

Human Geog was better than physical geog but still not the paper I was hoping for. Smoked my way through a 9m on the GLOBAL SHIFT in order to do a 16m on my favourite topic - uneven development. =.= Now the only exam left is the horrid TSD paper (which I desperately need to study for because at this point in time I still have no idea how to write a proper TSD essay).

I "celebrated" the end of human geog by chewing on my last pellet of gum and watching the Tyra Banks Show on YouTube (this is the first time I have ever watched her show). As well as watching some old videos of the Westboro Baptist Church. You can tell that I'm procrastinating. Watching Richard III tomorrow. Since Yelsel already got her ticket and my cultured grandfather has suddenly come down with the flu, I will commit social suicide by watching it with my mother. LE SIGH~

Was reading some of the news articles on the PSLE results. Haiz, why must kids waste their lives studying so much? SERIOUSLY? 5 hours a day for the P S L E ?! You are all like, freaking twelve years old. Is it even worth it?! Poor no-life kids. My PSLE period was very fulfilling. I played RuneScape all day long and matured as a person when I encountered nasty meanies in East Ardougne who said my username sounded like a drug-induced hallucination (I will not disclose the username here. It is very embarrassing and meaningless - even more so than my Neopets one). Being the mature 12-year-old that I was, I retorted with a sarcastic remark and blocked the noob before KSing him later on like a boss.

Then I got 227 for PSLE (I don't know how that's possible with two A*, one A and one B, but whatever) and DSA-ed to VS where I screwed up my lower sec with a mean subject grade of 4.0, before appealing for an 8-sub double humans combination, then getting "not-that-great" results of 9 points in the 'O'-Levels and DSA-ing to VJ. LIFE ISN'T THAT BAD WHEN YOU SCREW UP YOUR PSLE. Just don't screw up your Os. Alternatively, make sure you're talented enough to DSA all over the island so you get into all the "prestigious schools" which all the crazy kiasu parents stress themselves over, stealing the places of their equally crazy kiasu muggerdog kids.

So annoyed that the J1s had a "post-promo party" yesterday at Marina Bay. What did our batch have ah? I think it was post-promo lectures... DO THE END OF PROMOS EVEN WARRANT A PARTY? STOP DANCING IN PUBLIC AND GO MUG FOR YOUR R-PAPERS, KIDS. But then again, people do need relief after a week of inspirational talks, leadership workshops and mass CIP - activities I personally find torturously pointless.

Hint to the relevant authorities: inspirational talks, leadership workshops, compulsory CIP and sex education are useless and pointless.

Leadership cannot be taught.

"Inspiration" is usually cheesy and nauseating.

CIP loses its value when enforced/made compulsory (the only reason people find it "fun" is because they get to go out and cause a ruckus with friends under the thin disguise of charity and altruism).

Our generation has known everything there is to know about human reproduction and its risks since the age of 12. My favourite encyclopaedias in kindergarten had various clinical cross-sectional diagrams and lengthy technical explanations, and I distinctly remember one of my female classmates randomly talking about it in PRIMARY TWO, during a Chinese class when we were supposed to be writing down 成语s like mechanised sweatshop workers. The talks don't do anything since all of them involve a nervous speaker (who, most of the time, cannot actually speak) consciously trying to remain conservative and prudish in his views, sidestepping the actual issues and trying to preach "moral virtues" and other things we have all heard countless times before. And then issuing us with poorly-designed cartoonish HPB booklets filled with disturbing pictures of ~~cauliflowers~~ STDs - which we laugh at mercilessly before dumping them in the dustbin (some of the more uncouth people cut out the pictures and stick them on whiteboards/friends' backpacks/other highly visible places).

P.S: I have discovered another contributor to the distinct VJ smell - CLEANERS WIPING TOILET SEATS WITH MOPS. Heard it from Cheryl, who said Merissa told her. So right now, the smell is a composite mixture of rain combined with muddy soil and cat faeces, all fermenting next to a spoilt toilet which the cleaners wipe using a mop. Hooray!

P.P.S: I NEED TO EAT ~~HEART ATTACK ON A PLATE~~ BUTTER SQUID. I HAVEN'T EATEN IT IN AEONS AND FEAR I AM I CLOSE TO DEATH FOR LACK OF ITS HEAVENLY, ARTERY-CLOGGING NOURISHMENT.

EPIC DREAM

2011-11-22T12:55:00.025+08:00

LONG ENTRY!

Isn't it strange how everyone's perfectly fine before the exam, but the moment the invigilator says "YOU MAY BEGIN", the plague strikes, mucus drips everywhere and the whole hall starts sniffing?

Anyway, Lit Paper 5 was much better than Paper 1. My PC was long and rambling, and knowing me I possibly misread some parts, what with my radical/over-conservative interpretations, but at least I managed to write 3 sides, which is like a wondrous achievement for me and my usual 1.5-page long Lit essays, especially for PC. (Unfortunately it's usually the 1.5-page long essays which score higher due to my "deft and economical argumentation". =.=)

Finally got round to reading the lengthy introduction to Taming last night, and I'm glad I did because I managed to bring in stuff about farce and slapstick for the essay. In any case I don't really care if Taming is "offensively misogynistic and patriarchal" because I love offensive things (betcha didn't know I've seen more /b/ than you think) and beating bitches up is always fun to watch. Although that doesn't mean you can beat me up. I am not just a bitch. I am a divine bitch and I will rain furious celestial wrath down on your wretched mortal heads if you dare to lay so much as a finger upon my sexy body.

OH AND I MANAGED TO USE "THE DUMMY" AND "MRS AESOP" FOR DUFFY, AT LAST. The multicoloured highlighting spree last night proved useful. My book looks like a unicorn shat all over it but that's okay if Paper 5 can redeem the disgraceful travesty that was Paper 1. (The "disgrace" jokes are so old so I'm not even gonna bother pointing it out; I'm using the word because it fits, not because I'm trying to be lamely funny.)

[UPDATE AT 6.39PM]

WALAO CHEAT MY FEELINGS THE WARWICK LADY SAID THEY ACCEPT KI. CONFIRM CANNOT ALREADY LAH SIAN.

Time to watch more Teen Titans before I languish around wondering which Geog topics to lazily read up on. Perhaps I shall read up on Syracuse and it's shitty flagship projects, compare it to Melbourne Docklands' successful regeneration, then read the stuff on bid-rent theory and other factors influencing urban structure, then study supranational organizations for Global. I can never remember stuff about megacities so I'll leave that to the night before the exam.

Now that I have put my "study list" (which ~~I predict~~ obviously will not be adhered to) up on my blog, I can safely get round to blogging about yesterday morning's epic dream. I dutifully recounted it to Emersius yesterday and it took up 40 SMSes:

I was leaving school, and was carrying a 13" purple Cambridge satchel with a neon orange strap (I think it's because I liked their orange Halloween edition satchel but couldn't bear to part with purple). After going to the toilet, I followed Shu Shien to the bus stop, where we teleported to Bugis. Met my grandparents there and spied on an angmoh couple ordering food at an extremely high-class and overpriced steakhouse.

We all walked past the restaurant, through a colonnade/cloister and up a very tall escalator flanked by artificial waterfalls and giant, hanging potted plants. At the top was my dad, standing at the top of a cliff, gazing down upon a beautiful, Machu Picchu-esque landscape. There was a castle in the valley below that looked like a cross between those stereotypical medieval English castles you see in movies, and University College in Oxford (shows how much time I've spent trawling the Oxford website - time that could've been spent studying to actually get into the university). It was sunset so I took out a camera and started snapping photos, but my dad and grandmother kept getting in the way. By the time I shooed them off the sun had set and the photos weren't as nice. So I was quite pissed off. Some soldiers marched out of a side passage, before I teleported to a group of chalets. Some friends were there too (can't remember who, but I think it was the VSCO comm).

Apparently we were waiting for a tsunami to arrive. When it got closer to the expected time, I SMSed Wee Bian and Ashley using my massive, old-fashioned black brick-like handphone. Weeb said they were at ThaiPan and he was rushing Ashley to buy food so they could avoid talking to Mr Teo Gene-En, who would "waste their time" (MR TEO I DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING; TALKING TO YOU IS FUN AND I REALLY DON'T CONTEMN YOU AS MUCH AS MY SUBCONSCIOUS DOES KTHXBAI). I gathered my stuff and went into a black, dim-lit building that was a cross between a restaurant, cinema and video arcade. It was split into two levels, with a red carpeted staircase separating the two, but it was kind of open-plan, with only a balustrade on the second floor. There was a pool table and two colourful pinball machines at the side of the upper room, like those you can get in The Sims (this shows just how much I've repressed my urge to play computer games). My mum was waiting on the second floor, next to a huge floor-to-ceiling window that spanned the entire length of one wall.

After a while, a thundering mass of muddy water engulfed the building from the right side of the window. I SMSed Weeb to tell him that he and Ashley missed the tsunami, and Weeb said that it was okay and that they wouldn't come. The building was destroyed so my mum and I walked out to see the entire city reduced to rubble (the mountains in the distance were still nice and green and vegetated, though). Muddy water was quickly advancing so we ran towards a train and boarded it, heading towards the western mountains. Along the way we saw some of our cats like Jay and Racer - they had drowned and their corpses were floating on the water. My mum was quite sad but I was like, "EH LOOK, ANOTHER ONE OF OUR CATS DROWNED. LOOK THERE MUM, HE'S DEAD."

Finally, the train reached the edge of a marsh, the tracks completely submerged. It couldn't go any further because of the rising floodwaters so we alighted and tried to find our way through the swamp. By now it was mid-afternoon. Suddenly, the scene switched to the VJ hall, which had turned into a refugee camp. I was lying on a sleeping bag at the foot of the stage (where the large drawers are), flanked by Stanley and Amanda. Noma fell asleep but Stanley kept annoying me by stealing stuff from my pencilcase - erasers, my ugly GIC highlighter and my qinzhu (no idea what my qinzhu were doing in my pencilcase, or how they even fit inside, but they were and they did). By now it was the middle of the night. Just as I was about to sleep, Stanley rolled over and started assaulting me. Oh and the Teen Titans were there too (this is a sign I've been watching too much TT on YouTube). Beast Boy kept taunting Raven. -.-

Suddenly there was a loud crashing sound, and I saw Jonathan Koh in the gallery shouting at us to leave. We ran out I saw him slotting a note between some window louvres, in an effort to alert the school's OM to the danger. SUDDENLY, SLADE CHARGED OUT OF NOWHERE AND BURNED IT (I told you I've been watching too much TT).

We ran all around school trying to avoid Slade, who was summoning Pokemon to his aid (tells you that I've been spending too much time on Pokememes and Bulbapedia as well; strange that the dream didn't have elements from Avatar in it - probably because I haven't watched it recently). Jonk asked me to go to the General Office to set off the lightning alert signal, to draw attention to the school and get help, but we had to strategically split up to avoid the rampaging Pokemon. As we were running through the garden and the curvy stone path that leads from the Piano Room to the Synapse Labs, we were discussing whether people from Dunman Sec were called Dunmanians, or whether it was only people from Dunman High.

After splitting up and taking separate paths around the school, we met up again and charged towards the alarm control panel inside the General Office, which Jonk set off. The other students cheered and we emerged from a back door made of glass to see String Ensemble people running around. Suddenly, Mei Yin appeared out of thin air (see what I did there?) and told me to run for my life because Jynx was coming after us. I ran as fast as I could, past the Synapse Labs and the Reading Rooms, until Jynx lost my trail. We quickly returned to the hall (I saw Shilun along the way - probably a follow-up to the whole Dunmanian debate) and saw the Strings people panicking and rushing into the Reading Rooms to hide.

Just then, Slade's booming voice came through as a telepathic message. He told us that we had until morning, but I have no idea what it was for. He just said we had until morning. -.- The Teen Titans decided to actually do their job as superheroes instead of slacking around in the refugee camp and went after him, but not before Robin told Beast Boy to stop trying to rape Raven (I have no idea why this is in here because I have honestly never been a BB/Raven shipper; the closest I've gotten to "shipping" *vomits at the word* is Robin/Raven and Robin/Starfire - yeah I kinda treat Robin like a man-whore). Beast Boy responded with, "BUT SHE LIKES IT!" Most WTF moment of the entire dream.

By now, the mud from the tsunami was beginning to creep into the hall. We watched the TT destroy Slade in the gallery. Stanley was too exhausted to disturb me again and Amanda was sleeping next to her unnamed boyfriend (I SWEAR HE WAS UNNAMED). Finally, Slade was defeated in a shower of red and orange flame, and the scene switched to a wooden ferry sailing along the Nile.

We saw the Sphinx and Pyramids so I recognised the city of Giza, but I couldn't recognise another small wooden village in the distance. My mum said I'm stupid and that even my accountant aunty knows the name of that ancient village. Finally we reached some stone battlements. Turned out to be the castle from earlier on (this dream has a surprising number of recurring elements, and the passage of time seems quite consistent). We ascended the steps and I suddenly transformed into Raven (WTF), getting praise from everyone for helping to save them from Slade (IMO Slade's retarded and annoying, I don't know why my subconscious chose to make him the archvillain of this epic dream). They were all still dirty and covered in mud from the tsunami, though, and the surrounding green pastures were flooded with murky water and mud deposits. Venice was nearby too, completely flooded but bathed in the light of the rising sun (which strangely had the lights and colour scheme of the setting sun), which glinted off its whitewashed walls and jewelled, tiled jade and crimson roofs.

I was too weak to climb onto the battlements to address the crowd, so my dad helped me up (as in my real dad, not Trigon, thank god, that bitch is some scary shit). I took out a small, lavender-coloured pouch from beneath my belt (I am pretty sure it was a proper velvet bag and not some poetic metaphor for male gonads), saying it was some magical healing powder or something. I said I would directly sprinkle it on the people [emotionally] closest to me (who were also the most physically proximate), and blow the powder onto the rest of the crowd. So I did that and the crowd cheered.

Some woman was desperate for powder so she forced her way to the front of the crowd, asking for direct sprinkling (what a bitch!). I was feeling kind and virtuous and the endorphins from Slade's defeat were still coursing through my triumphant veins, so I did it for her. Then, I smiled and looked lovingly upon the crowd (WTF) before the sun rose high into the sky to fully illuminate the castle, Venice, the Ancient Egyptian lands and the surrounding fields and mountains. Then I woke up.

THE END.

DAMN EPIC RIGHT OMGGGGGG. And yes I did remember all of that when I woke up. If only my superhuman memory worked for actually-useful shit like megacities.

2011-11-19T20:12:00.004+08:00

I have symmetrical pimples. Like, I have two giant zits, one on each cheek. Oh, and one right in the middle of my forehead, and one just below my lower lip. My face looks like a compass now. And my cheeks look like Pikachu's.

And why is the "create post" box/frame in Blogger now BLUE?! Ugly as anything. Bring back the brown box!

As you can see, I'm blogging because I'm trying to procrastinate. Women in Lit paper on Tuesday. I really hope they don't troll us. For example:

With detailed reference to two texts you have studied, compare the writers' presentation of MEN.

'I feel their absence and I burn.' Discuss the significance of fire and burning in Duffy's poetry.

'My super-dainty Kate.' How appropriate is this characterisation of Katherine in the play?

'Don't you ****ing this ****ing that ****ing b***h tell me what to ****ing do ****ing.' Discuss Churchill's presentation of anger and violence in light of this quote.

I've been watching Teen Titans episodes on YouTube for the past couple of days (of course, interspersed with a few essay plans, eheheh). Some saintly soul uploaded the entire show. Plus the movie. *spirit soars joyfully into heaven*

2011-11-17T13:03:00.006+08:00

1300th post!

1300 is 13 x 100. Just as well because today's Physical Geog paper was extremely unfortunate. No hazard mitigation, no granite or limestone weathering and landforms, no riparian conflicts, no floods, no tricellular model, no urban microclimates, no droughts, a global warming 25-mark, a stream order/drainage density/bifurcation ratio 9-mark, a 16-mark on relationship between weathering and latitude, a 16-mark on the extent to which river regimes vary (requiring examples, WTF), a fieldwork question on weather observations during a cyclone (I have no idea how to measure wind speed)... has Cambrid- no, CamBITCH, gone absolutely mad?! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO US?! Every single paper is being trolled this year! The only okay subject so far is KI, but that isn't even counted for my uni admission. =.=

I hate global warming and ended up doing an essay on it (because doing a 16-mark on the influence of the ITCZ on tropical climates is disgusting). And my earthquake essay had a repeated point. Like, I wrote the same point (about structural engineering) under TWO DIFFERENT TOPIC SENTENCES (one specifically on structural engineering and another one broadly on preparedness, where I didn't really talk about education and all that WTF what happened to my brain). And I overshot the time for my earthquake essay so I didn't have enough time to finish the DRQs. Then I sat there being stunned at the Atmo and Hydro essays before reluctantly choosing the global warming one and creating crappy, shallow examples and warping and twisting my own limited selection of case-studies on the spot. Like Bangladesh floods, the Thames Barrier, desertification in the Sahel... oh and the stupid GRAZFEED and GRASSGRO agro-technologies in Australia.

Like, after prelims I was SCARED that I wouldn't do well. But after the actual 'A'-Level papers, I KNOW I didn't do well. =.=

And the invigilators only gave me 2 sheets of extra paper when I raised my hand. EXCUSE ME, BUT BOTH 9-MARK QUESTIONS (EARTHQUAKE ZONES, GREENHOUSE EFFECT) NEEDED ME TO DRAW GROTESQUELY LARGE DIAGRAMS. Two sheets only?! Had to raise my hand twice. -.-

WHAT NEXT, CAMBRIDGE? A 16-mark gentrification/resource appraisal essay? A supranational organization DRQ? =.=

This is what you are saying. Look how ridiculous it is.

2011-11-14T19:17:00.027+08:00

Hey there, shallow polemical brats with zero contextual knowledge! Why don't you go flame someone else, like the author of -this- awful article, who actually uses vulgarities in his writing. Oh my that's disturbing, did someone say VULGARITIES? He called Magmar "a duck that is on fire and has an arse on its head"?! How offensive! The creators spent a lot of time and effort designing the magnificent Magmar and one should not criticise their efforts despite their colossal failure in creating a Pokemon that is in any way intriguing or attractive. How could anyone mock and insult the designers' own creative genius like that! The author should die and have his future job opportunities cursed into oblivion for such callous, inflammatory remarks! What a disgrace to humanity! He is misusing his superior verbal prowess to put down the creators of Pokemon Blue. He should totally be put on STOMP and be publicly defamed for his downright nasty, insensitive and cavalier attitude towards other people's emotions!

Yes, I am capable of violently swinging between civil tagboard discourse and acerbic tongue-lashing in the main blog text. Just making a point, you know, to prove your overly sensitive and abjectly dimwitted nature. If you cannot take it you should advertise my blog to someone who has the necessary intellectual and emotional capacity to do so without bursting uncontrollably into a ferocious Plinian diatribe.

Anyway Lit was disgusting today. I was hoping DREAMS/PROPHECY wouldn't come out for Richard AND IT DID. AND I HAD TO DO IT. They actually gave us the inquiry scene for the Disgrace extract but the question was to discuss its presentation of CRIME AND PUNISHMENT, which is, as you know, totally WTH. The essay was on Lucy the irritating xanthippe and her decision to stay on at her smallholding (like, seriously? The farm isn't even pretty and Petrus' ego just keeps on inflating like Aunt Marge in Harry Potter).

Oh and I didn't know what the word "serf" meant in the unseen poems. Interpreted it to mean a soldier or military figure* because there was the same metaphor in the other poem, and also because Coltzan's Shrine in Neopets can give you Serf Lens, which is used in battle.

That thought process was a combination of creativity and desperation. And my nose was running terribly and there was an invigilator dressed literally from head-to-toe in purple, so you must excuse this temporary lapse in intellectual judgement. ~~Hopefully Paper 5 will be better~~ PAPER 5 HAD BETTER BE AS EASY AS A COVENTRY SKANK.

It's "lime", you moron.

My vocabulary is interestingly large today. New parts of my brain seem to open with every paper I take. If you're a Science student I suppose you just discover different ways of slicing a potato. Joy.

*It actually means "peasant". Shit. =.=

P.S: OMG I just realized I haven't updated since like, last Thursday. I hope nobody has died of depression from the lack of new lime-sorbet material. I do need my readership figures to remain high because I need a few more Nuffnang ads to reach $100 in earnings (after 4 whole years).

2011-11-10T21:22:00.006+08:00

My leg was numb because I was sitting on it. I stood up and placed my weight on it (out of habit), and instantly collapsed because I had absolutely no control over it LOL OMG damn embarrassing lucky nobody saw.

This is like how, three years ago, I was lying down on the sofa, stood up too quickly and immediately blacked out and hit my head on the floor because all the blood rushed out of my head. -.-

[UPDATE AT 12.01AM]

Thanks for the support and understanding, everyone (whether it was in person, via SMS or on the tagboard)! This is not a very good time for "scandal" but it's okay. :) I probably didn't make a very good impression on one of the Subjectif people who added me on FB a few days ago (and who has since deleted me). I understand where you're all coming from, but I hope you understand me as well. And yes, I felt very very awkward and embarrassed waving and smiling to that person today - not knowing they deleted me - and then suddenly remembering they were from Subjectif. No wonder they could only manage a tiny, forced half-smile-half-grimace. -.- Awkward TTM.

First exam over!

2011-11-09T15:26:00.004+08:00

OMG the invigilator for the KI exam was damn slack. Denise Ee raised her hand for more paper and kept it there for like two whole minutes (getting increasingly agitated with every passing second, poor girl) before the invigilator noticed. Why? She was sitting at the back of the classroom reading a book (most probably, since she strolled over to get the paper with a book in her hand), completely oblivious.

And at the end of the exam, the invigilator collected all our papers and walked out. Just like that. Didn't count or anything, didn't go back to the teacher's desk in front. Didn't even dismiss us. Just walked out the door. Like, seriously? -.- Awkward silence before everyone suddenly got up and started talking. =.=

Oh and there was another invigilator who decided to stand next to Reuben and read his essays while he was writing LOL. Poor thing. Probably has a bad impression of KI now.

"If we can never be certain of anything, there's no point trying to learn about the world." Discuss. [30]

"The sciences are more successful than the humanities because they are based on empirical facts as opposed to opinions." Discuss. [30]

Can you believe it? No more KI essays ever again. :(

'A'-Level timetable (for reference)

2011-11-08T18:53:00.012+08:00

Might as well put my timetable and venues/seat positions here since I'm such a computer addict:

9 Nov: 9759/01 H2 Knowledge & Inquiry (V40/B-5) (8-11am)

~~10 Nov:~~ ~~8864/01 H1 Mathematics (V30/B-1) (8-11am)~~ Have fun.

14 Nov: 9725/01 H2 Literature in English (Hall/N-6) (8-11am)

Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee
The Tragedy of King Richard the Third by William Shakespeare

15 Nov: 9759/02 H2 Knowledge & Inquiry (V40/B-5) (8-10am)

17 Nov: 9730/01 H2 Geography (Hall/K-12) (8-11am)

Graphic calculator
Scientific calculator

22 Nov: 9725/05 H2 Literature in English (Hall/N-6) (8-11am)

Selected Poems by Carol Ann Duffy
Top Girls by Caryl Churchill
The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare

25 Nov: 9730/02 H2 Geography (Hall/K-12) (8-11am)

Graphic calculator
Scientific calculator

2 Dec: 9726/01 H2 Theatre Studies & Drama (V38/C-5) (8-11am)

Waiting For Godot by Samuel Beckett
The Dumb Waiter by Harold Pinter
The Relapse by John Vanbrugh
The Beaux' Stratagem by George Farquhar
Love For Love by William Congreve
The Man of Mode by George Etherege

*shudder*

A Subjectif opinion

2011-11-07T19:11:00.019+08:00

HOW CAN THEY KICK OUT JOHNNY ROBINSON?! JUST GET FRANKIE COCOZZA OFF THAT STAGE. ZZZ. I HATE FRANKIE COCOZZA. He can't sing, he can't dance, his staging is bad, I don't see any striking quality in him, he's not even a diva like Kitty Brucknell (whom I love), and he's not even hot so I don't know how he has bedded over 70 girls. He looks like a TRAMP, and not even in the Vladimir/Estragon bowler-hat-and-boots sense. I HATE FRANKIE. HOW DARE THOSE BRITISH NOOBS VOTE OUT JOHNNY HE WAS DAMN FUNNY AND AWESOME.

As per Yelsel's request, I shall attempt to make a blog entry about the recent school newsletter that was emailed to us by VJC Subjectif... yes, I do make rants/bitch-posts on request. Give me suggestions and any required secondary material/sources and I will try to cater to them, although high-quality bitchiness and sarcasm cannot be assured. You can read Yelsel's own post by clicking -here-! ^^

Wait ah, need to dig it out from my mailbox's trash folder first.

Ok so anyway Subjectif emailed us with the usual ugly newsletter. Awful design as usual. Really cannot stand it. It bombards us with bolded HARLOW SOLID ITALIC (yes, I can recognize fonts. I'm that lifeless) headlines and lousy captions that aren't even amusing or striking.

And the typos contain captions.

See what I did there?

For example, "THE IRREPLACABLE PRINCIPAL" was the caption of a photo of dear old Mr Chan with half his forehead cut out of the picture.

Then there were pictures of VJ sportsmen, CLIC people and Jasmine Sim, winner of Face of the Year. How misleading, since there weren't any articles about ANY of those events. And the captions were in different colours, some even in different fonts... seriously bad graphic design.

On to the articles since the photos and captions and overall design suck so bad.

First article: "The Victorian A to Zs." Boring and not even well-written. You have no sense of humour. Don't write casual articles if you have no sense of humour and have to resort to inserting Squidward clip-art in your entry for "butter squid".

'H' for Happy Days, an "ingeniously named" cafe. I beg to differ. The name makes no sense and the cafe's signboard is in freaking Comic Sans font.

'L' for LightThink, "previously the GP society". LOL YOU MEAN THERE'S SUCH A THING CALLED LIGHTTHINK IN OUR SCHOOL? AND THERE WAS A GP SOCIETY?! Lol no-life. GP is stupid. Everybody should do KI. At least the critical thinking part, if you're not interested or cut out for the epistemology. GP is nonsense. Period. No need to justify my claim because it's a self-evident truth and is therefore certain beyond all doubt.

'V' for "valao eh - German speaks Hokkien". How is this VJ-related in any way? SERIOUSLY?

'W' for "wedges - $1 please". Look, Western Food aunty imitations should be left to me.

'X' for "Xcountry - why would anyone do this for a CCA?" LOL congrats. I don't see the point in it either but you just put this in a newsletter that's being sent to the entire school population, cross-country runners included.

And why was the 'Z' entry "Zouk"? And the description "inaccessible unless 18 years and above [sic]"? How is that related to VJC? And it was followed by a picture of the Singapore Zoo, which is "for all age groups". Obviously ran out of ideas. A more appropriate entry would be "zzz: the response to reading Subjectif newsletters". BTW I don't like the Subjectif blog either, but at least the layout and design are better.

Second article: "CROSSING THE BORDERS". Sorry, not interested in the woes of IP kids. Assuming each cohort has 800 students, only about 100-150 of them are from IP. Why are you giving the rest of us a sob story about how all of you "segregated yourselves from your JC peers"? DOES IT MATTER? I segregated myself too BECAUSE ORIENTATION WAS STUPID. I'd rather bond by just sitting around talking. Not dousing each other in water and then having to queue up to bathe in the filthy toilets.

I should tell you now that during CO camp this year I had to bathe in a cubicle where the shower head was broken off and the water basically jetted out straight from the mouldy brown pipe, through a hole in the wall. How hygienic. Oh and the jet was horizontal and so slammed straight into the door, wetting all my clean clothes rather than actually making contact with me. What a pleasant shower. PLEASE SPEND MONEY ON RENOVATING THE SCHOOL INSTEAD OF HIRING SO MANY FREAKING BUSES FOR MATCH SUPPORT. (One of my VJ pet peeves.)

And in any case I am quite pissed off by the IP kids now because I was in school studying today and some of them were banging on the Concourse piano over and over and over again like spastic children. For literally ONE HOUR, they were playing the same musical phrase non-stop. NON-STOP. And they kept making the same mistake. For god's sake, if you cannot stretch your last finger just 2cm further after one hour of trying to reach a particular note, perhaps you should give up playing. I know some people aren't made for music and not everyone can be like me and memorize 冬 in 2 hours, but I honestly cannot stand slow music learners. Being a beginner is fine. Being a beginner for life is embarrassing. AND GET YOUR QUAVERS EVEN. CANNOT EVEN PLAY QUAVERS PROPERLY. EVERYTHING ALSO SYNCOPATED.

FYI I packed my bags and left after that because I really couldn't stand the auditory assault. There were a couple of girls singing on the Concourse steps too while munching on Oreos. SHUT UP.

Third article: "The problem with advertising". A feminist take on sexism in advertising. This one was okay although extremely generic and GP-ish. I am glad I don't have to attack the work of an A15 junior. Although I should tell all of you that sexism against males does exist and is quite rampant as well - shoving it under the carpet while declaring that we must address discrimination against females is in itself sexism and a double-standard. Just look at how males are always on the receiving end of physical pain in TV and the movies. And everyone laughs at this, calling it "slapstick comedy" (often when the pain is inflicted by a woman), while it is an absolute outrage for a woman to be shown getting so much as a pinprick from a man. And you are depraved if you are going to try and interpret "pinprick" in a sexual way.

Fourth article: "Why PW sucks". This one was okay and I agree with the views expressed (who doesn't? Honestly, MOE. Scrap PW and be done with it. Just do a KI IS or Arts H3), although as usual the design was horrible, with a dark grey background and black words for some parts of the article. And I really don't get the random Hilary Clinton photo and the picture of some guy with poorly-Photoshopped facial hair.

Fifth article: "Cool food joints you must try". Hate hate hate the descriptions. Bloody hell, if I read one more food description that talks about "undeniably delicious" banmian with "soft noodles", "slightly thick soup" and "the way the tiny pieces of minced pork roll around on your tongue"... that description is disgusting. "Soft" makes them sound flaccid and soggy, "slightly thick" sounds like you, and "rolling around on your tongue" is just WEIRD. I do not roll pieces of meat around in my mouth like I'm making a Play-Doh sculpture.

"Slightly sweet meat with the salty and crisply fried rice". -___-" I hate it when people describe meat as sweet. MEAT IS NEVER SWEET UNLESS YOU DOUSE IT IN SUGAR OR HONEY OR ASPARTAME. MEAT JUST TASTES GOOD (BECAUSE IT'S MEAT). And if the rice is "salty" and "crisp", I'm guessing it's burnt and over-seasoned. Not very good food.

As for the entry on 32 Degrees Fahrenheit (which I have been to before), I am not amused by how the writer describes the shop as a "cozy cafe". It is not cozy. It is SMALL and CRAMPED. It has bare white walls, plastic chairs and white fluorescent lights. And it's run by cashiers who have the thousand-yard stare. You call that cozy? Have you been living in a prison cell?

Expand your vocabulary. And if the food isn't that great, don't try and make it seem like it is.

Sixth article: "A really smart way (lol jk I write for Subjectif) to decide if you should do that PW survey". No it isn't really smart. Good job creating the pixelated, highly-complex and unwieldy flowchart, though. Also we don't need ANOTHER reminder about the "reply all" debacle (if it was even a debacle to begin with) earlier in the year.

And you know what? Just fake your survey results. I know it reeks of "a lack of integrity" which is completely dishonourable and detestable because you're all such virtuous people who just love to make their WRs perfect and true and accurate and everything, but honestly the surveys are stupid. Just fake them and you can come up with any claim whatsoever. What if the school population did the survey and the answers all ran contrary to your idea? What will you do? Rework your entire project or say "aiya just fake the results lah"? The latter, right? So why don't you do it in the first place? Seriously. =.= Save yourself the time and save us all the trouble of seeing your awful surveys and poor project ideas.

For those wondering what this "reply all" issue is, there was some PW project about gay rights/integration of gays in society. I mean, seriously? Yes there is discrimination, but do you have the impression that we live in some tribe where non-heterosexuals are excluded and executed together with the murderers and blasphemers? =.= One of the questions implied a homophobic stance (it implied that gays aren't "normal"; I believe a more appropriate term is "typical") which expectedly generated a small discussion on VJ Mail, with people airing their views to the whole school using the "reply all" function. Look, it was so minor and honestly I've forgotten about it already.

Seventh article (not really an article): A lousy joke about the fingerprint machines. Boring, ugly and a waste of space. Closely followed by another lousy joke about Mr Goh Eng Chai's grandmother (WTF?). Yesyes we all know he uses the "my grandmother runs faster than you" thing but it's not original, witty or funny enough to be included in a newsletter.

Eigth art- OH WAIT IT'S JUST A REPEAT OF THE PW SURVEY THING AND THE FINGERPRINT/GRANDMOTHER JOKES. Good job, editors.

Trying not to insult any of the authors as people. Just attacking the sheer bad quality of Subjectif in this issue (can't talk about the equally-boring past issues because I deleted them long ago).

Was bored at my grandmother's house.

2011-11-05T15:28:00.006+08:00

[this was the only one I bothered to Photoshop. It's the prettiest so I will put it first. :D]

2011-11-02T19:58:00.004+08:00

Click -here- to watch a perversion of 关乃忠's 《拉萨行》: 第四乐章 (打鬼) unfold. I can't believe ANYONE would dare to perform like that for a national competition. =.= It only gets worse as the video progresses LOL. First the little hand-drums, which are still quite commonplace and acceptable. Then the retarded guanyue stuff at 1:20. Then the BALLOON. And the CARDBOARD DOUBLE BASS.

JUST WAIT FOR 4:15. I burst out laughing. AND THE WAVE AT 4:36 WTF SERIOUSLY IS THE CONDUCTOR RETARDED OR RETARDED. And finally 4:58. =.=

HAHAHA AND RIGHT AT THE END, THE SIGN WITH THE "打" WAS UPSIDE-DOWN. NOOBS.

NOT going back to HPB.

2011-10-31T22:59:00.007+08:00

Because I am unable to tear myself away from distractions, I have resorted to annotating KI short passages on Microsoft Word. It's better than nothing.

CONGRATS ~~MISS~~ MDM SURIANI!

I knew about it like dunno how long ago but I swore not to speak of it until everyone else started blabbering. IN THE AGE OF THE INTERNET (and loose-mouthed gossippy students), NOTHING IS SAFE.

Got an email from the school saying I may have to go for a health checkup at HPB because of my weight. Seriously, AGAIN? The last time I dragged myself over to ulu Outram Park was in Sec 4, and I got prodded all over by some old granny doctor who turned out to be my grandfather's niece or something. Disturbing. I am NOT going back there. All she did was tell me to drink milk and eat meat and eggs - which is the same advice I've been getting since Primary Two. I hate milk and find eggs generally gross, but I'm practically a carnivore (vegetables taste like strychnine and only look good when stuck in the ground in idyllic country farms), so I will not listen to any more crap from HPB nurses. They are all automated-response machines. I'm either infested with worms or my digestive system runs on the high-class fuel all the petrol companies like to advertise on TV.

FYI I weighed myself just now and I'm 41.8kg. Lost 200 grams.

And since I mentioned milk, it would make good blogging material to tell you that I was consuming sour milk for a whole week. Was wondering why my cereal tasted weird, then when I went to drink the milk by itself I realized it was nearly as rancid as Wee Bian's mind. To think I thought the problem lay in the cereal. =.= Well, the milk carton did have an expiry date of "01-08-2012", and I'm pretty sure it's not a typo because I have seen lots of other cartons with expiry dates listed as sometime next year. And it is clearly NOT 01-08-2011 because we bought it in OCTOBER. It probably just spoiled earlier than expected.

And amazingly, I am still alive. Can you imagine if I had died? Floods, political uprisings, and then my death. It just keeps getting worse, doesn't it?

2011-10-29T22:35:00.006+08:00

Things accomplished today:

Read about feral children

Read about congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis (CIPA)

Read about unsolved problems in philosophy

Search for postgraduate degree courses in Philosophy, Theology and Egyptology

Eat lots of non-nutritious food (instant noodles, haw flakes, rice crackers, peppermints)

Search the net for possible prom outfits, deliberating over them until I get frustrated and close all the tabs in anger and fear of my sartorial choices being ridiculed/laughed at during prom

Sign into MSN for the first time in about a week

SMS lots of people to disturb them while they try to study (i.e. be an academic parasite)

Open lots of tabs and Google Docs relating to Lit and Geog

Put my pencilcase and Disgrace text right next to me

Things not accomplished today:

Actually read the aforementioned tabs, Google Docs and Disgrace text (i.e. let MOE impose overly-high expectations on me)

Things to do now:

Panic

Resist the urge to read more about interesting stuff like feral children and thought experiments

Try to read the aforementioned tabs and Google Docs while eating more junk food and talking on MSN

2011-10-28T20:51:00.004+08:00

7 hours of KI really burns up your brain. Especially when over an hour is spent poring over Aesthetics notes trying to understand all the non-understandable crap about art - which ties with Maths for the dubious honour of being the worst KI topic ever. Pleasepleaseplease let Science, History and Social Science come out on 9 November, and don't let the long passage be on Maths or Knowledge & Society.

FINALLY. OXFORD WRITTEN WORK COVER PAGES ARE COMPLETED AND WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW. Please tell me SingPost works on Saturdays because if not I'll have to wait for Monday which is 30 October and my work needs to reach the university by 10 November and I don't know if that's possible if it flies off only on 1 November because UCAS sent me correspondence dated 14 October and I only received it on 24 October which is 10 days!!! Plus Oxford is ulu-er than London so there'll probably be extra delays! If my application is voided because of SingPost's laziness I'll burn down the post office near my house.

Was doing my STB scholarship essay and this came in. Yay! ^^

Unfortunately, I also need a PSC scholarship. If not I have to reapply for 2014 entry ZZZ WASTE TIME.

2011-10-27T22:57:00.002+08:00

No news is good news. Today the NEG spent an hour looking at Ah Lian blogs, scoffing and laughing at their awful fashion sense, disgusting hair colours (only angmohs look good with auburn hair, sorry) and inane, attention-grabbing blog posts. Just like the post-PW period, except without Grow Cube.

Unicorns

2011-10-26T01:03:00.037+08:00

Leonard sent Lesley and I a link to some blog run as part of a university Philosophy module. Quite amusing to see people arguing over things like "Proof of Unicorns":

(P1) Either existing unicorns exist, or existing unicorns do not exist.
(P2) Existing unicorns exist (because claiming that existing unicorns do not exist is contradictory).
(C) Therefore unicorns exist.

Which the author says parallels:

(P1) If a blue pen exists, a pen exists.
(P2) A blue pen exists.
(C) A pen exists.

Hmm. Not sure if the parallel is good or not. Think it should focus on "blueness" and not bring in "existence". But let's focus on the unicorns. *distant delighted Natalie-cackle*

The unicorn argument treats "existence" as a quality of an object, and hence an object possessing that quality is a subset of that same object not possessing that quality (like the blueness of the pen, because there could be red pens - which are not blue pens but are still pens). Because an object with that quality exists (zzz, I need better wording/phrasing to avoid the word "exist"), that larger set (i.e. the object itself) must also exist. Is this thing about "proper subsets" or something? Forgive me. I got E8 for Sec 2 Maths. You can check my archives for proof.

"Existing" could indeed refer to the quality of being extant (i.e. "existing" = "already in existence") but this quality may be hypothetical. Obviously, extant unicorns would exist because anything that exists exists (i.e. "this is blue, so this is blue" - tautology). But the "hypothetical quality of existence" is like saying "if this object is blue, it is blue". But it doesn't mean that any one of those objects are actually blue ("this pen is red, but if it were blue, it would be blue"). So, back to unicorns... "existing unicorns exist" does not mean "unicorns exist", but if unicorns existed, they would exist.

Would it be possible to argue that even if we assume that "existing" always meant "already in existence", the number of existing unicorns could equal zero?

"Yes, unicorns exist. It's just that there aren't any of them right now."

Which means unicorns do not exist. Does that mean that something that exists simultaneously does not exist, which is illogical? But in this case, the first premise of the argument would hold and we would have to conclude that unicorns exist (which is probably the author's point - assuming that we treat "existing" to always mean "already in existence"). And if there aren't any unicorns right now, but there were before, or could/will be in the future...

Then does it becomes an issue with language? "Blue" could refer to a certain sensation (or group of sensations) caused by particular wavelengths of light entering your eyes and being interpreted by the brain, but if the meaning of "blue" changed in 20 years' time to refer instead to the sensations caused by different wavelengths of light entering your eyes (say, those that would produce the sensations currently termed "green"), you would not say the pen is blue, but would instead address it by another term (similarly, a pen currently ascribed the quality of "greenness" would in 20 years' time be "blue" instead, and the argument in... blue font (=.=) at the beginning of this post would be sound for that pen instead of the currently blue pen (assuming that pen currently exists)). Essentially, the argument, when applied to the particular pen termed "blue" in the present, although sound now, could be rendered unsound in the future, because its logic depends on language. OOH THIS RELATES TO THE PREVIOUS "LOGIC = LANGUAGE = EXPERIENCE" POST OOH IF ONLY THE UNIVERSITY ADMISSIONS TUTORS READ MY BLOG.

No I think I'm going off-course.

~~Does this have anything to do with the Principle of Explosion (damn cool name, I swear)? If I understand correctly...~~

~~Either A or not-A (Law of the Excluded Middle). Assuming A and not-A, therefore either A or B. Therefore B.~~

~~HUH?! -.- I MUST OVERCOME MY LAY MIND AND TRY TO COMPREHEND THIS.~~

No but I don't think the unicorn thing is related to this. I think I was misled by the "either A or not-A" first premise of the unicorn argument. =x

IT'S 2.03AM NOW. I'VE OFFICIALLY SPENT AN HOUR PORING OVER THIS FASCINATING ISSUE. Unfortunately some high-ranking officials from the royal court (haha jk, it's just my grandfather) invited me to lunch tomorrow. Night, bitches.

Just finished reading Ms Chia's recently-published poetry collection. IT IS VERY GOOD. YOU SHOULD BUY IT. Trek down to BooksActually at Tiong Bahru in the remote bowels of Singapore and look for "The Law of Second Marriages" by Christine Chia. Alternatively, you could go to the VJ photocopy shop and hope that the pissy ladies still have copies, because the NEG bought 5 out of the 9 books Ms Chia left there. Muhahahaha.

Barbarians and philosophy

2011-10-24T23:48:00.010+08:00

So last week I saw that video of the Chinese toddler getting run over twice in a crowded marketplace, and this week I watch a video of a man getting burned alive by a mob in South Africa. No comments on the China one, but all the Lit texts (Disgrace, Top Girls, even Richard III) kind of strike a chord with the South African one.

Some sources say the guy was burned because he was a thief, or because he burned down a shack or something (lol, substandard housing. It would've burned down sooner or later, anyway), while others are saying it's because he was gay.

Either way it's barbaric and reeks of stupidity. I'm not sentimental so I don't use the word "cruel". It gives the impression that you're trying to be righteous and virtuous and I'm not the moralising type so I try not to use such "ethicalising" terms.

He burned your shack and you burned him. Talion Law overkill?

Your shack was gonna burn down anyway. Stop bedding virgins, go get some ARVs and find a job in a TNC. Improve your house. Don't kill people.

You blocked up a whole freaking road. Do you not have concern for your fellow barbarians? Oh wait, you're barbarians. Traffic doesn't matter as long as you get to bury your victim in a pile of plywood, ring him with a tyre, douse him in flammable liquid and set him ablaze.

Why must you burn him anyway? He was already drenched in his own blood and you were bashing him over the head with a plastic bucket (haha, such sophisticated tools you barbarians use) and the tyre (you must've trekked far to get to the nearest city from your far-off village). And you were kicking him all over the place. On the road. Which is rough and coarse like your mannerisms. Are you sure he was not suffering enough? It was just a freaking SHACK, NOT THE TAJ MAHAL.

There was a whole crowd of onlookers and people joining in the revelry/festivity/stupidity. JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE THERE WITH SUBHUMAN IQs?!

Is his being gay justification for killing him? Did he attempt to assault you? No, right? Although you're so full of shit I'm sure a little sodomy would've helped clear you out a bit. And I'm sure a sizeable percentage of the people in the mob have assaulted women - both heterosexual and lesbian - and, for all you know, men as well (you know, the usual hypocrites in denial).

If you had to kill him, why do it so inhumanely? Even I don't think of killing babies like that. The most I'd do is swing them around by their legs and launch them headfirst into a brick wall before jamming them in the microwave for a couple of minutes. If death was an appropriate penalty, was torture necessary? Was it ethical? I'm sure he didn't kick your shack and bash it up with pieces of wood.

"Petrus is glazing windows."

- J.M. Coetzee, Disgrace

The panes are clearer now but the house is still a mess. Idiots. Never learn anything. I'd rather Petrus glaze donuts.

Some thoughts I had while walking the 30-odd steps from the Art Room to the toilet this afternoon:

Would a person born with no senses (deaf, blind, mute, no taste (like the aforementioned people), no smell, no touch) know he exists? Would rational thought work? We think in language, but language is passed down from other humans, is it not? And for the deaf, language can take the form of visual images; for the blind, sounds, etc. What about those who completely lack sensory perception? Would thought exist? In what form would it exist, if it did? Surely if they were alive, electric impulses would be present in their brain. But would that mean anything else apart from the sustainment of physical life? If reason is borne out of language, is it thus borne out of experience? Is a strictly empiricist epistemology possible/plausible? Not being able to experience the external world in any way, would the [literally] senseless person even be able to discern life from death? Is existence itself thus contingent on experience? But then again, that rests on the fact that death = lack of consciousness (at least, the consciousness present during life), and we can never know during life if a new form of consciousness exists during death because we cannot access death without dying and the dead cannot re-access life (at least without us being conscious of it - but this already presupposes the foundational nature of perception/experience with regard to our epistemology). If the senseless person cannot discern life from death, would he be able to discern pre-life from life either (since death presupposes an earlier life)? If he cannot, are pre-existence and existence one and the same (once again, this rests on the foundational nature of experience)? Is that not logically contradictory? But is logic not borne out of language (and hence experience) and hence irrelevant when describing the senseless (LOL)? If he can distinguish pre-life from life and life from death, there must be some form of consciousness. But what is this consciousness? What could it possibly be? It seems that we are unable to free ourselves from the stranglehold of our perception and consistently view things from an empirical, sensorily-perceptual perspective, of which reason is founded in and enhances understanding of. If I inductively extend my logic to encompass all human consciousnesses, claiming that they all depend on perception, does this universality translate into identity, i.e. the senseless human is not really human in the sense that he is a person, but rather merely biologically human (i.e. homo sapiens)? Naturally this inductive generalisation is flawed because it is highly possible there's somebody out there able to come up with some cheem a priori rationalist Kantian shit, but the whole idea here centres on the notion of language without experience and logic without language, their apparent implausibility or "common" (i.e. "layman; not conducted in a very intellectual or rigorously philosophical way") unfathomability, hence the claim that "no logic without experience", hence "experience therefore reason".

I have no idea what I'm saying. Don't even ask me what I'm trying to say because I'm rambling LOL. I bet some famous philosopher has said it all before (and some other famous philosopher has incinerated it). -.- The things a distended bladder does to one's mind.

Was blog-hopping and saw a post that MR LOW IS LEAVING VS?! WHATTTTT?! WHY IS EVERYBODY LEAVING?! KULANDAYAN THIRUNAVUKARASU S/O GODOFYOUTUBE, SHARMA, MRT, WWL, NOW MR LOW ALSO?! Walao by the time I graduate from uni all the teachers will be different lor!

After I blog this I'm going to eat instant noodles just because I can.

2011-10-21T19:59:00.034+08:00

FRICKIN' HELL. I HAPPILY COME TO MY BLOG, ALL READY TO SEE THE CUTE RACCOON THING AND THE NAUSEATING GREEN BACKGROUND. THEN I SCROLL DOWN AND SEE THAT NUFFNANG HAS DECIDED TO PUT SOME SCARY GHOST FACE HALLOWEEN ADVERT ON MY SIDEBAR. GO AND DIE LAH THIS AD HAD BETTER PAY WELL, YOU HALF SCARED ME TO DEATH.

[EDIT AFTER PUBLISHING: WALAO DAMMIT I CAN'T EVEN READ THIS ENTRY PROPERLY BECAUSE THE FACE IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE FREAKING TEXT.]

Shit lah I overslept today and decided not to go to school. I was happily sitting around studying Geog and Lit, and watching documentaries on the Holy Grail, UFOs and pacu fish in Papua New Guinea which have developed a penchant for biting off male reproductive organs*, when I got an SMS telling me that "haha there's a teacher sharing session now" and I was like OMG SHIT I FORGOT WHY DID I FORGET.

Someone please tell me what they talked about! At least a summary. :(

To-do list (yucks):

GEOGRAPHY

~~Lithosphere~~

~~Hydrology~~

~~Atmosphere~~

Population Geography

Urban Geography

~~The Globalisation of Economic Activity~~

LITERATURE IN ENGLISH

~~Disgrace concerns (although I will never be able to do a purely thematic essay on the novel)~~ and key passages

~~Richard III concerns~~ and key passages

~~Taming of the Shrew~~

Top[less] Girls

~~Fat old hag- I mean, Carol Ann Duffy~~

~~Intertextual themes~~

Annotate other schools' Paper 1 PC questions

Annotate other schools' Paper 5 PC questions

THEATRE STUDIES & DRAMA

~~General dramatic and theatrical features and conventions~~

~~Theatre practitioners; acting and characterisation techniques~~

~~Set and lighting design~~

~~Unseen extract answering skills~~

That old TSD unseen extract we got last month...

~~Theatre of the Absurd concerns (thank you, H3 Lit)~~ and textual examples

~~Restoration Comedy concerns~~ and textual examples

KNOWLEDGE & INQUIRY

General epistemological ideas, concepts and concerns; philosophical schools and figures; history of philosophy

~~Natural science~~

Ethics and morality

~~History~~

Aesthetics

~~Social science~~

~~Mathematics~~

Social epistemology

~~Informal logic; critical thinking skills; Mr Cook's monologues on statistics and three-legged cats/Bayesian theory~~

Annotate other schools' critical thinking passages

Seriously. =.= Wonder if there's time to finish everything before 9 November. I had a countdown on my phone but in order to pressurize myself, I randomly minus extra days from it every now and then (e.g. when I'm trying to find ways to procrastinate) so I make myself think there's less time than there really is. My maths sucks so I don't actually know the real number of days left anymore. =.=

Random pictures:

[Cookie.]

[the shoe colour improves in sunlight. Good.]

[THE ART ROOM COMPUTERS HAVE AUTOMATIC SHUT DOWN.]

[scary-looking T-Block corridor at 7.30pm.]

*The fish are related to piranha, but instead of having sharp teeth like their famous cousins, the pacu's teeth are flatter and look almost like human teeth. So instead of a "clean cut", the process of sterilizing you involves violent tearing and ripping, coupled with blunt force and pressure. Om nom nom.

P.S: Realized that the Lit Trip entry and Hong Kong Trip photos, and prom photos, and the A15 senior-junior gathering (February this year) photos probably won't be up till like 2014 or something because of my shitty enslavement date. WTF MY WORLD IS CRUMBLING. DAMN YOU MINDEFFFF.

GO AND DIE

2011-10-19T22:41:00.013+08:00

Two weeks of unproductive sitting-around-in-school-pretending-to-study has made my forehead erupt into a sea of hotspot volcanoes. To prevent my face from looking like a star map (or Emersius), I now sit in the Art Room with my fringe up and the rest of my unruly hair (haircut this weekend) sticking up at odd angles around my head like Viracocha:

Haven't eaten rice in 2 days. This is good practice for the UK. Have been surviving on potatoes, puffs and lemon tea from the cafe. Everyone says I've lost weight but I've always had bone-hugging skin so I can't tell.

Commencement of enslavement: Friday, 9 December 2011, 8.45am.

BYE-BYE $300+. I BOUGHT TWO WICKED TICKETS FOR 10 DECEMBER. Doubt I can attend post-prom either since it'll end super late and I'll be a dead, ~~drunk~~ enlistee. I'll die in there anyway but right now I'd rather go in alive so the slave-drivers can get into even more trouble than they already are when I finally do die.

I'll look like a ****ing vulture when they amputate my hair/mutilate my head for the purpose of oppressive conformism. I can't attack my genes for giving me a large hooked nose and arched eyebrows not commonly seen in people of Southeast Asian origin*, but I can attack the authoritative militarists for destroying whatever's left of my self-esteem. Getting rid of my hair will help get rid of the star map on my forehead, but I'd rather have the night sky burned into my skin than have to see a scavenger of the savannah in every reflective surface.

If I was scheduled to be enslaved on 8 December I would've torn out the ligaments of every last MINDEF worker, CMPB clerk and holier-than-thou SAF officer.

*Which many of you have derived great enjoyment from insulting. I promise you I am considered an ideal of beauty in many parts of the world where your peneplanated pediment-faces and attached ~~lumps~~ potato-noses are considered more appropriate facial features for gnomes and other sub-humans.

DARLING IT IS NO JOKE, THIS IS LYCANTHROPY.

2011-10-17T22:38:00.004+08:00

Disgrace is horrible. In J1 we used to just think of it as "the book where the guy has sex with a lot of young girls" but now it's filled with stuff about redemption and justice and hope and change and dunno what else. And don't get me started on the dogs. In one instant the dogs represent the whites, in another instant they represent Romanticism and David's idealism, another moment they represent the BLACKS or something and then suddenly they're just... ordinary dogs. Disgrace itself is a biatch and nobody likes it. =.=

The NEG totally ~~ruins~~ enhances pop songs through our amazing bastardizations and Chinese translations of Shakira songs. We've been doing it since last year but today was damn funny.

"There's a He-Wolf in my lecture~ exam was hard, he got a C. *pant pant*"

SOS, she's in disguise = 救命啊，她在假装

There's a she-wolf in disguise; coming out coming out coming out = 有个女狼在假装；在出来，在出来，在出来

A domesticated girl, that's all you ask of me = 家里的女人，那就是你问我的

Darling it is no joke, this is lycanthropy = 亲爱的，我没有开玩笑，这是 ["lycanthropy" is far too cheem to translate]

The moon's awake now, eyes wide open = 月亮睡醒，眼睛长大

My body's craving, so feed the hungry = 我的身体饿了，所以喂我肚子

I've been devoting myself to you Monday to Monday and Friday to Friday / Not getting enough retribution or decent incentives to keep me at it = far too cheem to translate

Startin' to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office = 开始觉得一点虐待像办公室的咖啡机器

So I'm gonna go somewhere cozy to get me a lover and tell you about it = 所以我就去一个温暖的地方找个情人然后告诉你

[blahblahtoodifficult]

The moon's my teacher, and I'm her student = 月亮是我的老师，我是它的学生

OBJECTION (TANGO): I love you for free and I'm not your mother = 我的爱是免费，我不是你的妈妈 -.-

SPY: There's a spy by my window = 有个间谍在我窗边 (courtesy to Google Translate for the translation of "spy")

Ting Zhou tells me one of his classmates is "so excited to read [my] blog". WHO IS IT. I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS, WOMAN.

2011-10-15T21:30:00.002+08:00

Spent my day reading about alien abductions on Wikipedia. I'm hoping I get abducted, maybe during one of the As or something. Like, I suddenly vanish from my seat and nobody notices then when I come back in a daze 2 hours later everybody panics and there's a massive uproar and everything woohoo.

2011-10-14T19:19:00.001+08:00

I AM SO FAT. JUST LOOK AT MY FOLDS OF LARD.

H2 Stalking

2011-10-13T21:19:00.027+08:00

H2 STALKING

Paper 1: Facebook

Duration: 3 hours

Additional materials: Answer Paper, Insert

noeconsgangnoeconsgangnoeconsgangnoeconsgangnoeconsgangnoeconsgangnoeconsgangnoeconsgangnoeconsgang

INSTRUCTIONS TO CANDIDATES

Write your name and class on all answer sheets that you hand in.

Write in dark blue or black pen on both sides of the paper.

You may use a soft pencil for any diagrams, graphs or rough working.

Do not use staples, paper clips, highlighters, glue or correction fluid.

Authorised and certified personal computers and laptops may be brought into the examination room. They may not bear webpage bookmarking, web histories or caches.

Begin each question and part-question on a fresh sheet on paper. At the end of the examination, fasten your scripts together with the strings provided. Fasten and submit each section separately.

SECTION A

Answer Question 1(a) and either 1(b) or 1(c).

SECTION B

Answer either Question 2(a) or 2(b). The profiles used in this section cannot be used in Section C.

SECTION C

Answer one question. The profile used in this section cannot be used in Section B.

This question paper consists of 5 printed pages.

----------

SECTION A: UNSEEN NEWS FEED

You must answer Question 1. Refer to the Insert provided and ensure your answers are entirely relevant to its content.

1(a) Outline the trends shown in the user's applications and provide possible reasons for them. [10]

AND EITHER

1(b) Examine the nature of the user's friends and their posts. How may such information be used to stalk the user? [15]

1(c) Examine the nature of the hyperlinks present in the news feed and provide suggestions as to how the user should modify them in order to improve his/her online image. Make clear reference to image files and comment threads in your answer. [15]

----------

SECTION B: SOCIAL FUNCTIONS

You must answer Question 2. The profiles used in this section cannot be used in Section C.

EITHER

2(a) With detailed reference to two profiles you have studied, discuss the significance of residential settings in the creation of camwhore photographs. [25]

2(b) With detailed reference to two profiles you have studied, consider the social function of groups and pages. [25]

----------

SECTION C: FEATURES AND CONCEPTS

Answer one question. The profile used in this section cannot be used in Section B.

POKES

EITHER

3(a) "Pokes function as expressions of platonic affection; nothing else." How far do you agree? Make close reference to one named profile in your answer. [25]

3(b) To what extent can poke wars be considered obligatory? Make close reference to one named profile in your answer. [25]

THE INFO TAB

EITHER

4(a) "A perversion of the self." With close reference to the info tab of one named profile, comment on the validity of this statement. [25]

4(b) "The most revealing are the most uninteresting." To what extent does this statement account for the practices of stalkers you have studied? Make close reference to one named profile in your answer. [25]

WALLS

EITHER

5(a) To what extent can social class be determined from Facebook walls? Make close reference to one named profile in your answer. [25]

5(b) With detailed reference to one named profile and its associated stalker(s), discuss the claim that the immediacy of wall posts detracts from the value of the wall as a stalking tool. [25]

END OF PAPER

Quote of the day:

*a large beetle scurries across the path*

Amanda (shrieking): "AHH GOD IT'S A DUNG BEETLE! T_T"

Me: "It was looking for you. ;)"

2011-10-12T20:17:00.003+08:00

Reading the following email was a waste of my life:

Yeah, 18-year olds are so stupid that we need SEAB to give us instructions on drinking water during exams. =.=

How to suck up to a Geog teacher:

[I told her to jump on a fat person and float down the street. She said "[she's] covered" because "[her] husband should fit the bill". Orh hor.]

Start of "post-prelim programme" (i.e. go to school every day like you always do)

2011-10-10T23:30:00.007+08:00

Quotes:

Me: "I'm wearing vegan shoes."

Mei Yin (extremely shocked): "You mean normal shoes are made of meat?!"

[the shoes in question. As I mentioned in one of my earlier entries, the colour in real life is off!]

JS: "Statistics show that 3 out of every 4 men will cheat on their spouse."

Nick: "WHAT?! SHIT ON THEIR SPOUSE?!"

*during Geog Prelim feedback lecture*

Teachers: "Somebody wrote that they'd put a rain gauge inside a building to measure rainfall amounts. Somebody also said that religious views influence fertility rates, because 'Islam forbids contraception and requires women to remain in the kitchen'. ALL OF YOU, AH. =.="

And one of the best...

*at LSD*

Reuben: "Hello, Bernice. Long time no see."

Bernice: "Yeah, how's your KI?"

Reuben: "Not bad. Second-last in level."

Bernice: "That's an improvement."

OMG BERNICE OWN.

School has ended and I'm back in school. Yay. =.= I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH LIFE WITH AN ULCER ON MY LOWER LIP. I CANNOT TALK OR EAT OR EVEN BREATHE PROPERLY (because sometimes my nose gets blocked and I have to breathe through my mouth).

Taisheng posted on FB that he got his NS enlistment letter and he's going in on 3 Feb. Poor guy will miss my birthday, SAD FOR HIM.

In any case MINDEF had better send me my letter soon so I can plan for holidays and other far more important stuff. Hopefully I only get drafted into unconscionable slavery after Results Day, so I don't have to show my face- I MEAN, MY FREAKING FUGLY EFFED-UP BALD HEAD THAT WILL MAKE ME LOOK LIKE AN OSTRICH-VULTURE HYBRID, to the school population.

Farewell Assembly 2011 =\

2011-10-07T20:36:00.006+08:00

WE HAVE GRADUATED. T_T

Today, I put on my VS tie and sang the Victorian Anthem for the last time in 6 years. :(

The programme itself was quite entertaining, actually, what with CPM going on about "epic wins" and "epic fails" in a very forced attempt to be hip and youthful (cf. "muggles"). AND THEN... THE TEACHERS DANCED. LOL. A15 shrieked when they saw Ms Cai dancing nervously at the back, LOL. And Ms Wu was actually pretty good.

AND THEN...

CHAN POH MENG STARTED JUMPING ONSTAGE.

OH MY GOD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

Every school event (except SC-CT Investiture and Eighty-8 2010) is necessarily run by cheesy MCs, and this was no exception. But for some reason, the games they played on stage were actually FUNNY. The first one was a race to pull, one-by-one, all the tissues out of a box. The second was a race to finish eating half a watermelon in the shortest time possible, using only your mouth.

Oh and VJ Dance did two performances. Awesome, as usual. And PA Crew screwed up. As usual. =.=

The Teachers' Band wasn't so good this time round leh. Or maybe it's because our batch isn't as high as last year's. Those people were like, collectively retarded. The closest anybody got to madness this time round was probably Ms Melissa Goh Zhi Hua, who was convulsing on the dancefloor like a spastic child being electrocuted. She was shuffling, waving her arms about and grinning widely, screaming "NOT ENOUGH, I WANT TO PARTY SOME MORE" when the MCs asked us to leave. SO, MEL. I SEE YOU HAVE FINISHED MUGGING FOR THE A-LEVELS.

[CO Room regulars! Photos taken with XM's camera. My face is super red and I don't know why.]

[Whiney Whiney! :D Photos stolen from one of the Photosoc people. Email/tag if you can't stand my lovely face and want them removed.]

Suriani gave us each little personalized messages, stuck onto bags of gummy bears, during OUR VERY LAST CT SESSION. Usually CT lessons are bullshit and we get to stare at motivational, overly-positive PowerPoint slides and inspirational videos lovingly designed/selected by the school's CIVICS COMMITTEE (yes, time and manpower are actually devoted to such things). Anyway, Ms S's message revealed the cruel truth to me, after two long years of innocence and naivety. SHE READS MY BLOG.

DUN DUN DUN~

Hi Ms Suriani. Tag. And add me on FB. I've graduated already so now I'm entitled to stalk you.

[last glimpse of T15! Not that I'll miss it. =.= Filthy floor, stuffy atmosphere, faulty air-conditioners, Women In Lit tutorials... hell.]

OK SO AFTER CT SESSION (which involved lots of overexposed polaroid photos, multiple chocolate bars and exchanging of cards and letters), the class split. Boohoo. The Art Girls went to work on their ~~crappy~~ exhibition and some of the other girls (including my girlfriend Cheryl) disappeared, probably to some shopping mall to indulge their inner bimbos.

MEANWHILE, THE GUYS DECIDED TO GO BOWLING AT KALLANG LEISURE PARK. Being the sophisticated person that I am, I decided not to go, instead walking home in the scorching equatorial sun to sulk in misery and boredom.

Then in the evening I went for LSD at the Container Block. It was very good, despite Noma's installation collapsing several times. Left messages for the A15 artists as well as Natalie (purposely drew a cat for her, nyeh heh heh).

[would put the official banner/poster here but there isn't a high-res version online.]

AND BEFORE I FORGET: ANEIRIN'S ART = GOD. *worship worship*

Unfortunately, Kristy and the A15 attendees - me, Ruby, Nick, Jon and Sushi - spent more time playing zongjimima at the refreshment table than viewing the artworks. We used the game to decide who got to eat cream puffs and eclairs (because other snacks like EGO brand MANGO-FLAVOURED SWISS ROLLS (IKR, WTF) and Chong Wai Har's spicy chicken drumsticks are rather difficult to ingest). The losers had to eat tissue paper. Yes, we really did eat tissue. I nearly choked. And we were damn bad to Mr Teo. He came over and wanted to take a cream puff but we pushed him away and told him that he must play if he wants to eat, LOL. Predictably, he left in a ~~puff~~ huff.

AND NOW I AM HOME, SURFING THE NET AND NOT DOING WORK (as I have been for the past week). Inertia. :(

Sushi says I should wear a bright, polka-dotted bow tie for prom. She says she'll make one for me if I can't find one. And the NEG are still keen on creating a ballerina dress for me. Let's see how it goes.

END OF EDUCATION. NOT.

2011-10-06T19:19:00.020+08:00

Today marks the official end of my MOE-sanctioned, formal, school-based Singaporean education. WOOHOO! I'd love to say how I'll miss my table in T28 (Geog Room), the "Dweeb Corner" in the Art Room, the computers in the Art Room, the sinks in the Art Room (they don't have those awful "water-conserving" taps like the rest of the school), the sweet smell of the Art Room, the bird shit and giant ants in the treehouses, the filthy CO Room floor, the brown Music Room carpet, the smell of cat poo along the corridors, dead butterflies on the spiral staircase, the gross canteen tables, the sticky Concourse tables, the awful piano-playing in the Concourse, the unhygienic fingerprinting machines, the clouds on the English Room wall, the acidic-smelling photocopy shop, the friendly bookshop aunty (still need to buy Man Of Mode from her), Noma's "big dry meatball mee" from the MSG Noodle stall, chewy pieces of precooked and overpriced cereal chicken from Chinese Food, the voice and omelettes of Chong Wai Har (although, for a small price, I will imitate her for you)... etc.

But there's Farewell Assembly tomorrow and I'll be going back almost every day for the next two weeks for the post-prelim programme. =.=

Yelsel says I'd make a good androgynous model like Andrej Pejic (WTH), so she took the following picture of me. It's supposed to be a model face but I ended up looking like a fierce zombie in need of sleep and sunlight (it's the Art Room lighting!). And a dermatologist. -.- But it's still better than the failed model faces we took in the UK! (Yes, yes, I know what you're about to say, and I promise that the Lit Trip 2010 entry will be up before I enter university. Really.)

[my head looks disproportionately large, too. Must be my immense brain.]

Other random pictures:

[this is Foolscap Man. I always draw him on the blank covers of my foolscap pads.]

["Enjoy a steaming hot chunky... *drumroll* CHICKEN RENDANG PIE." EXTREMELY ANTI-CLIMACTIC. =.=]

I'm mercilessly deleting inactive/dead/inaccessible/plain boring blogs from my link list. If your link has been deleted, too bad because you brought it upon yourself by:

Being a no-life mugger and "not having time" to update.

Thinking that blogging is boring and/or useless. FYI IT ISN'T. I'VE EARNED $99 IN FOUR YEARS FROM NUFFNANG. LOL IKR. Stupid Xiaxue and her advertorials monopolize the market (I just invoked Econs, OMG). -.-

Blogging boring stuff which I'm not interested in, or excessively emo stuff which is antisocial and completely unreadable unless you're an emotional trainwreck. If it's the former, go find something interesting to do with your life, like... (to quote Ms Fisher's Urban lecture) organic vegan nail art or something, so you can least blog about things other than homework and school*. If it's the latter, create a private blog. Or a Tumblr, with all its pretentious Photoshopped pictures. =.= Either that or go see a counsellor to sort out your problems and spare the rest of cyberspace from the agonies of your nonexistent love life.

Making your blog private and not granting me access (bitch).

*Of course, I understand if you're a student taking the 'A'-Levels and aren't able to blog about anything except homework and school. I will review such blogs on a case-by-case basis and pass judgements accordingly. Decisions are, however, non-negotiable, and I reserve the right to spit in your face if you try to resist my supreme authority.

2011-10-05T00:16:00.014+08:00

How I spent my first (and unfortunately last) legit 9-period break (8.10am-1.30pm):

Sleeping
Trying to decipher Restoration notes
Eating
Listening to music

I dunno how 5 hours passed so quickly, but they did. -.-

Went to Parkway after school with Shameera, Rachel, Mei Yin and Choi. They're starting some lame fashion design thing (called "ChoiAngullia" - the ingenuity) with the rest of their A12 ~~rejects~~ darlings after As. I bet it'll collapse within a few weeks because they won't have enough ideas or won't be able to agree on anything. Plus, I'm part of the "creative team". HAHAHA.

Sat at Starbucks drinking an uber-sweet White Chocolate Mocha frappe and ended up gossipping and sniggering at unglam and stupid-looking people through the one-way, tinted glass panels. Did 3 essays like a good lazy ass. But it's okay. We decided that it's very sad if you have no life and study 24/7. We will remind you of your misery on Results Day:

Us: "Hey, how did you do?"

You: "HAHAHA I GOT 8 DISTINCTIONS AND MY NAME IS ON THE POWERPOINT SLIDES. I HEARD YOU ONLY GOT 2 As INCLUDING PW. I AM SO SMART AND BITCHY, LIKE AN ASIAN KATHERINA. NYEH HEH HEH I AM THE BIGGEST SHREW IN THE UNIVERSE."

Us: "Good for you! Have fun celebrating your amazing results with your lack of friends."

Ate at Pastamania ("Scrumptious! Sumptuous!") and came home. Spent an hour or so reading about the Meredith Kercher thing and ate a couple of peppermints. Going to sleep now. Tomorrow's the sucky Lit-Geog-Geog-Lit day and I have an ulcer next to my molars. Maybe it's oral cancer and I'm going to die, lol.

Boring blog entry is boring. The other night I used my uber yangqin skills to swat a fly. It was flying around while I was flossing my teeth so I chased it out BUT IT KEPT COMING BACK. So I started flailing my arms about (with floss hanging out of my mouth). It got disoriented and started flying round in circles, so I unleashed my "lightning-quick hands of alacrity", smacking it on the face with the tip of my index finger (pro not?). It fell to the ground in a daze, quickly flew out and didn't come back. Stupid bitch got owned.

Prelim results! @_@

2011-10-03T19:43:00.004+08:00

[YAY, MY PRELIM RANKPOINTS ARE THE SAME AS MING HAO'S MID-YEAR RANKPOINTS, WOOHOO. Stupid Ming Hao, go and die.]

[oh shit, teacher saw a PW rant on Facebook. (Click to enlarge.)]

But seriously, just fake the freaking results. Nobody cares. Don't try to be virtuous. PW is shit* anyway.

THE LAST WEEK OF MY FORMAL SINGAPOREAN EDUCATION HAS BEGUN. THE LAST MONDAY OF MY FORMAL SINGAPOREAN EDUCATION HAS ENDED.

*Sorry. Can't think of a stronger word that really encapsulates my (and everybody else's) feelings towards it.

Secret stash of peppermints

2011-10-01T19:07:00.010+08:00

Was looking through my cupboard and found, behind my Cambridge satchel and my stores of shampoo and soap bottles, an ancient bag of peppermints and chewing gum from half a year ago. I hate people stealing my food so I probably hid it in the cupboard to stop people from finding the bag and eating my sweets without my explicit permission (come on, I'm 42kg. I need the food). Turns out I hid it so well I forgot about it. UNTIL NOW. :D

It's Children's Day today. I hope all children die and burn. I HATE THEM. Children's Day also means there's only 37 days left to the As. I spent my day reading about old Cartoon Network shows and watching a YouTube recording of someone playing the Rugrats Adventure Game (which I was very proud to have finished, back in the day). Studying can wait. I think I'm probably gonna go back to school after Farewell Assembly because I obviously cannot study at home. Not to say I cannot study at all at home. I just do it in short, intense bursts and then I get distracted by things like YouTube, Facebook, Wikipedia and the bed. My stay-home study sessions are rather unstable/unsteady and are characterised by patterns like "wake up at 2pm, do 8 essays in one afternoon, feel proud and then slack for 2 days".

[EDIT AT 11.14PM: OMG IT ISN'T CHILDREN'S DAY TODAY. Apparently it's been changed to the first Friday of October from this year onwards. =.= Anyway it's 11.14pm and I'm going to start studying now. Bye.]

Going to school also gives me the opportunity to use my Happy Days loyalty card. I cannot possibly buy 7 ice-blended drinks in the next week unless I want my digestive system to go haywire and expel my innards in a torrential flow of liquefied shit, and none of the J1s are deserving enough to inherit the card so lovingly bestowed by the holy hands of Zalinah (she squirted extra cheese on my hot dog for free the other day when the rest of the staff weren't looking*!), so I shall spend the next 4 weeks using it. I hate all the ice-blended drinks except the Mocha Breeze so I guess that will be my source of caffeine and sugar until/during the As. -.-

*"什么?!"

Dream

2011-09-30T20:25:00.009+08:00

Was lying on my bed just now and accidentally fall asleep. Dreamt that I was a doctor performing an unnecessarily violent abortion. Well, not exactly an abortion, lah. More like a C-section followed by grabbing the [still-covered-in-blood-and-placenta] live baby and tearing out its umbilical cord with my hands. Its intestines fell out too because the force of pulling off the cord ripped a large hole in its abdomen. Then I prised apart its fontanelles, attached a vacuum pump to the bleeding fissures and sucked out its brains while it screamed.

After all its organs were sucked out through the hole in its skull, the baby was basically a limp bag of skin, which the suction caused to turn inside-out. I flicked it back into shape and dropped it to the floor before stitching up the mother (who was unfortunately unconscious and did not get to relish the sight of her feral spawn being slain).

Heh heh heh, anybody wanna marry me? Our kids will enjoy very happy, 2-second-long lives. ^^

P.S: I really did dream this.

2011-09-29T20:19:00.002+08:00

SAME MARKS FOR TSD AGAIN WTH.

And I need 15/30 for KI short passages in order to get an A. Mr Cook's the marker and he's totally gonna rape my HIV passage because it's based on statistics and I didn't mention the statistics at all because I had no idea how to do it. And he spent so many lessons on analysis of statistics this year! Zzz.

My handwriting changed again today. I'm probably schizo:

2011-09-28T19:18:00.003+08:00

First day back at school GAWD NO. But at least I got 82/100 for Physical Geog MUHAHAHAHA. Please let me get 58 for Human Geog so I can get my A. Suriani actually bothered to check all my data in the essays and realized that I bullshitted my way through all my Human Geog examples, e.g. saying that Toyota has 180 branch plants in China when it actually has 56 branch plants worldwide. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW/REMEMBER THAT. CHINA IS SO BLOODY BIG ANYWAY. And don't branch plants do all the crappy low-paying stuff? Can afford to have a lot what.

An earthshattering accomplishment.

2011-09-27T14:00:00.002+08:00

H2 KNOWLEDGE & INQUIRY (INDEPENDENT STUDY):

SUBMITTED.

POPPER LOOKS LIKE A NICE GUY BUT LAKATOS IS FREAKING EVIL.

No more despair!

2011-09-26T12:00:00.003+08:00

H3 LITERATURE IN ENGLISH: SUBMITTED.

You gotta love Beckett.

2011-09-25T01:26:00.002+08:00

OMG I AM SO IRRITATED.

I happened to read through my CC for fun today (yes, weird, but anything is stress relief after spending 12 hours straight working on two research essays) and realized that I DID NOT CAPITALIZE THE 'R' IN "RESTORATION" AT ONE POINT. My OCD kicked in and I edited it. I'm damn annoyed now because I submitted the CC with a typo, WTH. And now I'm even more irritated because I know that the copy of the CC I printed for myself is lying nicely in my bookshelf WITH AN UNCAPITALIZED 'R' ON PAGE EIGHT. B***h. Should I edit it with black pen? Going to edit the document in my thumbdrive as well for uniformity.

Going to school ~~tomorrow~~ later to do H3 and IS with Ling Kang. Haven't spent a Sunday in school since the TSD practicals ended.

2011-09-22T22:26:00.003+08:00

Woke up at 3pm today and wanted to play AoM. Then I remembered I had WORK to do, so I ended up spending the day editing and doing word counts on my IS and H3. I wanted to practise YQ but BOTH my low E-strings decided to break whilst tuning. I think I need to send the whole thing for restringing. It's been two years since I got it and I've only changed like, 2 strings. =.= There are missing strings here and there and the most of the steel ones have lost their lustre. But nothing has rusted (apart from the TUNING PINS, for some strange reason) and [surprisingly] the instrument still sounds very good when it's freshly tuned. Got the "round" and "bouncy" feeling/sound. ^^

At least all my G-strings are still intact. :D

Fiddling around with Photoshop with photos I took yesterday using my phone camera. A part of me thinks they look kinda pretty while another thinks they're fugly, weird and overdone:

End of prelims. :(

2011-09-20T23:36:00.027+08:00

HUMAN GEOG WAS INHUMANE.

The end of prelims marks THE END OF PRELIMS, if you get what I mean. Next event on the academic schedule? IS and H3 submission next Tuesday. @_@

Sat around in school after the exam colouring in little paper flowers and threading needles for Noma's coursework like a Vietnamese sweatshop slave. As a form of revenge I was extremely talkative and kept making noise and pacing around the room talking about everything under the sun, from CO music to TSD practical rehearsals to Zalinah making me a Mocha Breeze.

Peter got attacked by one of the black cats outside the C-Block. LOL. It was quite an evil-looking cat. Very territorial.

I realized that the relationship between the school cats is quite apartheid-ish. It reminds me of Disgrace. Pig - the old, white power - dominates the feline hierarchy and monopolizes the food supply under the staircase. She also lives in the T-Block, a relatively developed and urbanized area, in comparison to the Horticulture Club's garden where the unsterilized, wild black cats live. But you realize that the black cats are encroaching on Pig's territory. She is losing power, which is also reflected in how she injured her leg a couple of months ago and couldn't chase birds and the other cats away as effectively as she previously did (I wonder if this parallels the displacement of Lurie's desires). Her control over the T-Block is slipping. She once went through a period where her eyes were constantly irritated and couldn't open very wide, but despite its similarity to Lurie's immolation in the Eastern Cape, I cannot think of an appropriate parallel so that will remain unlinked to the conflict between Pig and the wild black cats for now.

Of course, we must remember that we are influenced by past views and history is written by the powerful. Which is why everyone likes Pig and the black cats seem so wild and feral. And they bite Peter. Who is a lover of Pig (as in he likes to pet her. Not the "I sleep with her" kind of lover) and hence supports the old, waning and increasingly irrelevant white power. Those who support the old ways must learn to accept change the hard way - through pain and trauma. i.e. getting bitten by a ferocious, screaming black cat outside the Container Block.

BTW, one of the black cats has a balding butt. I was laughing at it but was duly punished - it summoned a ni**er fairy using its demonic powers and commanded it to attack my face. In case you're wondering, "ni**er fairy" is an... affectionate term Noma and I came up with today for those giant black flying insects with scarily long legs*. They feed on human souls and are freaking scary and disgusting. No, I do not know what their real name is. I bet it's something like "Mephistopheles Bug" or something equally infernal.

I haven't checked my Nuffnang in ages so I logged in today. LOOK WHAT I FOUND:

[click to enlarge.]

PEOPLE GOOGLE THESE THINGS AND END UP AT MY BLOG. WHO IS IT? ASAPH IS IT YOU?! FOUR PEOPLE HAVE SEARCHED FOR "BOY ENEMA". I DON'T THINK ANYONE ELSE IS THAT INTERESTED.

*Can you believe it? It's a conglomeration of every single disgusting insect feature known to mankind: large, black, flying, long legs. And it was summoned by the cat version of Pollux. EVIL DEMON CREATURE. IT BELONGS IN CHRISTAL'S COURSEWORK SHRINES.

Academic discrimination

2011-09-19T22:14:00.005+08:00

There was a feature in The Straits Times today about how Singaporean archaeologists are bemoaning the lack of any financial or academic support in their field. I SYMPATHIZE BECAUSE I WANT TO DO ARCHAEOLOGY (or at least, some archaeology). Schools in other parts of the world can do 'O'-Level Archaeology, 'A'-Level Textiles, etc. Us?

Maths, the 3 natural sciences.

English Lit, Geog, Modern History, Econs, Art.

Plus the "rarer" subjects like Chinese/Malay/Tamil Lit, Computing, Theatre Studies, Linguistics, Music, China/India Studies which not all have access to.

There's Islamic Theology too but the fact that that's only offered in madrasahs kinda sucks because there are non-madrasah students (Muslims, non-Muslims and non-religious alike) who are interested in religious studies and theology from a purely academic perspective (i.e. no intention to become the next Pope).

I am viewing this strictly from an academic perspective (i.e. the prospect of doing doctoral research work in the future) and am hence disregarding the more immediately "vocational" qualifications offered by polytechnics, ITEs and institutions like LaSalle and NAFA for ease of argument/rant.

SERIOUSLY IS THAT ALL?! NO WONDER THE COUNTRY CANNOT PROGRESS. NUS FASS is ugly and rundown and I know a lot of people who grimace and give disgusted faces at the prospect of going there for tertiary education (me included).

"Oh but we do not have people with the required skills to teach 'O'-Level Classics/Archaeology/Ancient History/Philosophy/Theology/Sociology..."

DUH. BECAUSE NOBODY HAS THE CHANCE TO TRAIN IN THEM HERE. And those who go overseas for their academic training find that they can't pursue their fields of interests here as a career because there is no funding or appropriate institution in which to practise their craft!

Seriously, look at the National Heritage Board scholarship website. It's outdated but it still says something. Archaeology isn't listed as one of the possible courses. I mean, yes, it does not have to be listed for it to be a valid course choice, but listing it would make things a lot easier for budding archaeologists and ancient historians to realize that there is a support base somewhere. I mean, your freaking logo is a VASE. If you do not support archaeology I have to agree even more with the people who say our arts/museum scene sucks elephant balls.

At least the National Museum is desperately looking for money to buy dinosaur bones. Right now it kinda sucks because not many people want to go there to see relics of our disgustingly intricate Singapore history. Peranakan Museum is boring as hell and Asian Civilizations Museum is rather dead apart from the Terracotta Warrior exhibition. They should just merge the Peranakan and National museums to form some Singapore-themed museum, and leave the National Museum open to stocking artefacts and holding exhibitions of wider interest and value. I do not care much for old silk tapestries from my grandmother's 1960s Bukit Timah bungalow but I would care a lot more if they were tapestries from the interior of a long-buried Egyptian temple.

No such thing as the "no money" excuse because the government here has a shitload of money but is either dishing it out to the oh-so-easily-corruptible ministers, shoving it into CPFs we cannot withdraw till we are already close to death or giving it to all the science research organizations. The last of which is all good and admirable but is making Singapore a mono-directional place with an ugly arts centre known as the Esplanade (to shut the artsy rebels up and treat them to brilliant imported shows and [comparatively] shitty local productions without even allowing them to bring food into the theatre because Singaporeans are uncivilized and barbaric and only live in a clean country because of enforced legislation rather than a true sense of social awareness and unity, for a significant proportion*) and a truckload of useless Engineering graduates that only serve to build more ugly buildings. And machines and roads, for all the civil and industrial engineering students who are up in arms at the absolutely horrific generalization I have just made about their noble field of expertise.

Please set up a centre or provide funds for budding archaeologists, theologists, classicists and other "minority" academic interests Singaporeans may have. Using my amazing arsenal of Geography knowledge imparted to me by the divine institution of SEAB, I must tell you that Singapore can only be a global city if it is a major cultural centre (which really shouldn't be hard at all, considering our massive ethnic diversity and location at the historical crossroads of the Occident and Orient - something else I learnt, this time from the Sec 2 History syllabus) and possesses a large proportion of well-educated and enterprising citizens. Enterprising, yes. But not in all fields. Well-educated, yes. But not in all fields, and, in some fields, denied the opportunity to be. MOE, please educate the rest of the government - and NUS - instead of just shoving shit down students' throats for the purpose of examination. Educate us for OUR sake, not for THE ECONOMY'S sake. Educate us for us and the country will naturally grow from passion and zeal. Educate us for the country and you'll just get a very bland country that's made up not of a lively academic COMMUNITY but of a community of cultured (read "cultivated") RESIDENTS. WE JUST LIVE HERE. WE LIVE HERE AND WE WANT TO DIE BECAUSE WE MUST FORK OUT $12,000 JUST TO GO TO JORDAN FOR A MONTH-LONG EXCAVATION. WTF.

This is from the VJC 87S11 group on Facebook:

Seriously. =.=

*The homo rebels are shut up by allowing Pink Dot, the last oasis of ~~lux et volupte~~ (sorry, Lurie moment) equality after the carefully-yet-conveniently-dismissed 377A debacle, the ridiculous banning of Mass Effect, etc.

STD outing

2011-09-16T22:47:00.006+08:00

I FELT SO EMBARRASSED TODAY.

There I was, furiously marching up to V47 for my H2 Theatre Studies & Drama Preliminary Examination. I dumped all 5 of my texts down on the table with a loud bang, startling two girls, and went outside to wait for the others like a skinny boss.

Suddenly, a huge flood of J1 monstrosities came pouring down the corridor and invading the desks around my precious bag. I quickly dashed back in (my head down to avoid attracting attention), snatched my bag and books away and dashed out together with the CSE people from next door.

Turns out there was a timetable clash so the exam was shifted to V34. Zzz so embarrassing. Saw some of the juniors on the way down but I didn't say hi because I was trying to look like I was in a rush and knew where I was going when in actual fact I was lost and wandering around looking for other STDs (students of theatre and drama).

I hated the unseen passage this time round. Did the set design question for it because the character question was on REHEARSAL TECHNIQUES WTF.

Restoration was actually quite good. I wrote 4 sides arguing that RC is not "trivial, gross and dull". A record.

Absurd was weird. One question was on whether it's "relevant to the present", one was on whether it should be acted realistically, and the last was on memory. Obviously I picked the memory question because the other two seemed mad and more towards the social/contextual side. But my memory essay was only mediocre.

The STDs went to Orchard after that. On a Friday night in our school uniform. Very disgraceful. Anyway we ate at some place in the basement of Orchard Cineleisure and Kristal and I shared a giant plate of:

Onion rings
Two types of pasta
Potato wedges
Sauteed onions
Corn (yucks)
Baked beans
Garlic bread
Sauteed mushrooms (OMG damn nice. Jonk stole half of them.)
Croutons
Mushroom soup
One piece of boiled broccoli (Kristal's "crowning glory" on top of the mountain of other food)

We couldn't finish. This is what Mei Yin ate:

One giant plate consisting of half a roast chicken, french fries and some salad thing I think
Another plate full of salad things

I think she ate the plates too since I didn't notice anyone come over to remove it from the table. It magically vanished.

Kristal has this suggestive iPhone game called "Monster Pets". Basically you have to look after these ugly creatures and stroke them and feed them and waste your life on them just to satisfy your inner maternal instinct. Jonathan was having a ~~Mei Yin~~ whale of a time poking and stroking them and laughing at their reactions.

Went to Kinokuniya after that. Mei Yin bought a book of Larkin poetry WHOA LIT GOD. We realized that Jonk looks somewhat like a panda.

Set A:

[got this off VCSD muhahahaha look at that ugly ass shit.]

Set B:

[LOL.]

Set C:

SEE THE SIMILARITIES. Now I'm going to need to wear a suit of armour to school because Jonk is going to kill me.

Quotes of the day:

Mei Yin: "DID YOU JUST GIVE A LOOK OF HORROR WHEN YOU SAW MY FACE, NICHOLAS CHAN?!"

Yes, Mei Yin. It's an appropriate reaction.

Mei Yin: "DID YOU JUST CALL ME A WOMAN, NICHOLAS CHAN?!"

THEN WHAT ARE YOU, MEI YIN.

2011-09-15T20:43:00.001+08:00

FML: F MY LIT.

AGAIN.

PRELIMS

2011-09-12T21:33:00.009+08:00

LIT TODAY. GOT RAPED LIKE A WHITE LESBIAN IN THE EASTERN CAPE.

PC was awful. It was a choice between two very complicated-looking love poems and a pair of poems on ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE. I picked the latter and was rambling on, stream-of-consciousness style. While writing I could imagine Ms Chia tsk-ing at me, batting her false eyelashes and tossing her stylish new bob around. Richard was rambly too and for the Disgrace passage, I think I used more info from outside the given excerpt. Zzz.

Didn't help that I only managed to fall asleep past 4am despite going to bed at midnight!

PHYSICAL GEOGRAPHY TOMORROW.

lithosphereasthenospherewegenercontinentaldriftpalaeontologicalgeologicalglacialstriationsappalachians

palaeomagneticseafloorspreadingconservativetransformearthquakesstandreasfaultdestructiveconvergent

nazcasouthamericaandesfoldingbucklingaccretionarywedgesedimentaryrockscompactioncementation

lithificationconstructivedivergentmidatlanticeridgeruggedunderseamountainchainsislandarcvolcanicarc

basalticandesiticrhyoliticobsidianlavapyroclasticflowlaharvolcanicgasessoilliquefactionprimarysecondary

rayleighloveseismometertiltmetersatellitepredictionphivolcsusgsclarkairbasesubicbaynavalbasefourhundred

metrewalloffirenojimafaultgradientrockboltsigneousplutonicvolcanicintrusiveextrusivemetamorphicfoliation

homogeneousheterogeneousschistosityslatycleavagegneissbandingrockcyclesubductionbenioffzonemohorivicic

discontinuityshieldacidlavadomecompositesilicaashtephranevadodelruiznueesardentesyungaymounthuascaran

surfacesubsurfacedrainageperforatedpipesretainingwallsgabionswiremeshplasticsheetingundercuttingshear

strengthshearstressinternalcohesioninternalfrictiontorinselbergbornhardtkopjepedimentetchplanation

deepchemicalweatheringstrippingofregolithpliocenepleistoceneupliftruwaredomicalrisebasinbasalsurfaceof

weatheringhydrationhydrolysischelationcarbonationsolutionoxidationrootwedgingfrostshatteringfreezethaw

actioninsolationdilatationpressurereleasegraniticbatholithporewaterpressureanimalburrowingcutandfill

regradinginsuranceavocadofarmlaconchitavajontdamshearplanetranslationalrotationalslumpslidefallflow

heavesoilcreepsolifluctionlobesperiglacialregionsfreezethawcycleshardsoftengineeringstructuralengineering

communicationsnetworkscitizenpreparednessdisasterawarenessdaysakurajimamonitoringpinatubodiversion

canalsetnasurtseyhousesonstiltshawaiifluidinjectionsartificialearthquakeinductionclasticchemicalbiological

stratificationbeddingplanescrossbeddinggradedbeddingcrystallinestructuresaltcrystallisationtafoniboulder

fieldlimestonepavementgorgecavespeleothemrimstonedamflowstonesodastrawstalactitestalagmitedoline

sinkholedisappearingstreamswallowholesubterraneanstreamresurgentstreamspringmogotecockpitkarst

lateralverticalsolutionwatertabletalusscreeslopeitaliandolomitesjointdensitydifferentialweatheringstrakhov

peltiermechanicalchemicalregolithhazardmappinglanduseplanningphreaticeruptionrichtermercalliscales

magnitudeintensityquantitativequalitativegroundshakingfirestsunamidisplacementofseawateroceanictrench

riftvalleygrabensoilsaturationlubricationjointsparalleltosurfaceorthogonalcurvilinearsheetexfoliation

blockgranulardisintegrationdecompositionquartzitespheroidalweatheringknicksolutionnotchesberryand

ruxtonrectangularcorestonesgrussfocusepicentremassmovementplatetectonicscrustmantleouterinnercore

contactregionalmetamorphismtemperaturepressuremagneticreorientationvanthoffslawhumicacidclintgryke

masterjointarcuatescarbulgingtoevariableuniformvelocitydebrisavalancheterracettestiltedtreesfencespoles

postsaberfancollieryterracing

hydrologicalcycleglobalregionallocalopenclosedsysteminputoutputflowstoregroundwaterprecipitationsurface

channelinterceptionrunoffthroughflowthroughfallstemflowevapotranspirationinfiltrationcapacitypercolation

porespacesprimarytsecondarypermeabilityperviousnessstormhydrographstormflowbaseflowrisingdescending

recessionlimbpeakflowlagtimepeakrainfallnatureintensitydurationdirectionofprevailingstormjointdensity

bankfullcapacityfloodcompetencehjulstromcurvecriticalerosionvelocitysettlingvelocitybraidedmeanders

poolsrifflespressuregradientasymmetricalcrosssectionchannelmorphologywettedperimeterhydraulicradius

widthdepthcrosssectionalareagradientvelocitydischargeerosivepowerhelicoidalturbulentlaminarflow

transportationtractionsaltationsuspensionsolutionerosionhydraulicactionabrasioncorrasionattritionsolution

depositionconcavelongitudinalchannelprofileplanviewsinuosityindexbifurcationratiostreamorderstrahler

manningsequationmississippifloodsleveesartificalbarrierssandbagschannelmodificiationrealignment

resectioningfloodabatementreforestationafforestationvegetationgrowthnationalfloodinsuranceprogramme

dredgingwaterallocationstakeholderinvolvementculturalenvironmentaleconomicsocialdamfailuredrainage

densityinfiltrationdiscfloodplaininundationcohesionbradshawmodelthalwegrivercliffpointbarmidchannelbar

periglacialregionsouterconcaveinnerconvexoxbowlakecutoffcrossoveranabranchescontainingchannel

recurrenceintervalsatellitemonitoringtechnologyhazardmappingvadosephreaticzonenilebasindiscourseforum

nilebasininitiativemekongrivercommissionplatformsfordiscussionlegislationmicromacroconcernsataturkdam

ilisudamrangingpolesdogbiscuitflowmetercoalescencetheorybergeronfindeisentheoryconfinedunconfined

aquiferdischargerechargesaltwaterintrusionwaterpollutioncontamination

atmospheretropospheretropopausemesospheremesopausethermospherethermopausetemperaturegradient

withaltitudeinsolationshortwaveradiationterrestrialradiationlongwaveradiationcounterradiationemit

absorptionscatteringmigrationoverheadsunalbedoreflectivityaspectcontinentalitymaritimeinfluencelatitude

coriolisforceeffectlatentheatfrictionpressuregradientforcegeostrophicwindtricellularmodelglobalatmospheric

circulationhadleyferrelpolarcellsintertropicalconvergencezoneequatoriallowsubtropicalhighpolarfrontpolar

vortexthermallydirectindirectglobalwarminggreenhouseeffectenhancedgreenhouseeffectanthropogeniccarbon

captureandstoragecarbonsequestrationatmoceanironsulphateprecipitationconvectionstableunstablelapse

rateenvironmentallapseratecondensationcumulonimbussaturatedairparcelorographicreliefwindwardleeward

urbanheatislandhumiditytemperaturewindturbulenceeddiesleevortexsnowfallcloudformationfogformation

hygroscopicparticlesnitrousoxidessulfurdioxideurbanclimaticdomedownwindplateaucliffpeakcanyoneffect

visibilityrelativehumiditydewpointcollisioncoalescencetheoryupliftsurfaceconvergenceupperatmosphere

divergenceverticalpressuregradientverticalhorizontalheattransferscarbondioxidegreenhousegasesrisingsea

levelsclimatechangedesertificationdroughtstropicalcyclonesextremeweatherphenomenaelninosouthern

oscillationwalkercirculationnortheastsoutheasttradewindsmidlatitudewesterliespolareasterliesdeflection

spirallingwindsrapidlyrotatingsystemtropicaldepressiontropicalstormsaffirsimpsonscalewindspeedintensity

climatepredictioncentresaheltropicalequatorialrainforesttropicalmonsoontropicalsavannahlowlatitudedesert

subsidingdescendingrisingairmeanannualtemperatureannualtemperaturerangediurnalseasonalvariations

totalannualprecipitationdistributiononshoreoffshorewindshimalayassubtropicaljetstreamtropicsofcancer

capricorndifferentialheatinglandbreezeseabreezestormsurgecoastalfloodinggroundsalinisationagriculture

hurricanekatrinacyclonenargisconductionperuvianhumboldtcurrenteasternwesternpacificsoutheastasia

southamericawesterlycountercurrentupwellingofcolddeepwatereasterlysurfaceflowalongequatorfaminerain

fedagriculturecottonsugardryfarmingtechniquescitizeneducationdroughtresistantcropssorghummilletwaxy

surfacecivilwarprestigeprojectsnomadicpastoralismcommercialfarmingovercultivationovergrazingfallowing

barrenclimograph

There's Maths as well in the morning. Heh. Heh heh.

OH MY GAH I JUST CHECKED MY VJ MAIL. ONE OF THE BROWN SPHERES IS LEAVING?!

More specifically, the more spherical brown sphere is leaving. (I think the other one is more cylindrical, actually.)

~~OH NO LIFE IS RUINED~~ One less person to say goodbye to haiz I am so evil I deserve to rot in hell.

jordan says...

How to survive army, the Jordan way

"He dyed his hair pus yellow."

Adorbz photoz

Nineteen

Paying the price

VJ REDONDO

A cynical post about CO, for once.

"They look too galactic."

Degeneration

Games

THE LONG-AWAITED THAIPAN LUNCH. FOILED.

Diet time

Oxford rejection T_T

a hair-razing feat

Never again.

*yawn*

VJ Open House advertisement

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :DDDDDD

Last post of 2011

10A15 Christmas Party 2011!

LONG BREAK, AHHHH~

Sex and the City-State

圣诞节快乐!

Back from honeymoon

Eternity of torment, BEGIN!

Victoria Junior College - Senior Dinner & Dance 2011

GOODBYE, WORLD

Breaking Dawn

Shameera's Horror Night

More animal satire + RIP yangqin stick

End of As! :O

MEOW

Mandy's Wrath

Turin Erotic Papyrus

EPIC DREAM

This is what you are saying. Look how ridiculous it is.

First exam over!

'A'-Level timetable (for reference)

A Subjectif opinion

Was bored at my grandmother's house.

NOT going back to HPB.

Unicorns

Barbarians and philosophy

After I blog this I'm going to eat instant noodles just because I can.

GO AND DIE

DARLING IT IS NO JOKE, THIS IS LYCANTHROPY.

H2 Stalking

Start of "post-prelim programme" (i.e. go to school every day like you always do)

Farewell Assembly 2011 =\

END OF EDUCATION. NOT.

Prelim results! @_@

Secret stash of peppermints

Dream

An earthshattering accomplishment.

No more despair!

End of prelims. :(

Academic discrimination

STD outing

PRELIMS

yawn